legal route or hope for the best

[goawayyouboringbastard]

Ok so abusive ex is moving in with new GF Ihaven’t met her / he’s kept her a secret but DC have spend a large amount of time with her and have mentioned her and her show and tell session on her ‘intimate grooming habits’ hardly the point but screams lack of with boundaries as far as I’m concerned. I shall move on the actual issue before I sound entirely unhinged but I’m pretty angry at the usual lies. I was categorically told the move was the only thing changing.

I quite honestly would rather not give either of them a second thought as if she is with him
Under the circumstances (no maintenance still so rude and abusive only on text now) I must admit I have a poor opinion of her - I’m sure the narrative he’s spun is fantastic.

My dilemma is, how do I approach this, I am utterly galled I have to bring it up with him but if he is refusing to change contact arrangements as agreed but only at a time when it suits him (power play) do I go the legal route bearing in mind he is vicious on a good day. This is top level stuff I have threads from years back whrn I was warned he was abusive so no need to revisit that!

Ugh he had once again created a situation where I have to appear like I give a fuck about his life but my DC are involved so o need to know what’s going on with them.

He’s a cretin and it’s clouding my ability to write a coherent post. Sorry.

Also further background (hopefully this isn’t a duplicate post) he left me after a campaign of gaslighting and abuse especially when I had severe PND and medical issues and was very vulnerable

I'm sorry but it's not really clear what you're asking. How old are DC? How far away is contact location? How often? How long?

I can't really understand your post, can you set out the relevant points? You've got children (how old?) and your ex's girlfriend is showing then her intimate areas?!??

In answer to your question legal route. Not hope for the best. He has not really changed an iota and he still continues to give you and in turn these children the full force of his abuse.

Were contact arrangements informally made rather than court ordered?. Do not have any more direct contact with him and do not send your kids over to them either.

I would also pursue a maintenance claim because he is financially responsible for his children. Contacting both Womens Aid and the Rights of Women organisations could be helpful to you particularly if you have not already done so.

Yes informal arrangement which suited him (and me to some degree). It has worked in a sense however I have requested a change several
Times which he’s refused until it suits him to reschedule.

I will try and get through to WA this morning.

I’m asking how to manage the situation - do o bring this up with him and how bearing in mind he is abusive and vile and she appears to have boundary issues.

The legal route will be nasty and the DC (primary school age) are not in any danger.

I’m highly uncomfortable that they will be living with someone who has been and still is a ‘secret’, my personal a opinion of her is irrelevant as I’ve no control over his relationships. In fact I would rather not know about anything to do with him beyond the DC