All the time
The worst one is dp being in the kitchen when I am cooking .
Exh did most of the cooking, he worked from home but had worked a chef forb10byeara when I met him. When we were first married, if i cooked we would sit down to the meal and they would be stuff in the meal I hadnt put in. If I left the kitchen he would go in and add stuff 'only so it tasted better and you would be proud of what you cooked'.
I got fed up with it. No point in me cooking if everytime left the kitchen he went in changed it. I even asked him to cook with me so I would pick up tricks from him. But he wouldnt. So he ended up doing most of the cooking.
Then he moaned about doing it most of the time. We had kids so he would cook I would tidy up toys, watch the kids, play with them etc. So I said it was fair enough he was fed up and started taking it in turns. But when I cooked he wouldnt watch the kids, so they were in and out if the kitchen, moaning, asking for something, wanting the TV turning over etc. I hated the toddler running in the kitchen when the oven was on. He sat in the kitchen and He wouldnt answer the kids but just constantly criticise what I was doing. Its wasnt down right nasty. Just a constant stream of 'you are doing that wrong' and 'you arent being careful with that knife' and 'did you wash your hands?'.
Plus i was the one sorting the kids. So I was cooking, trying to sort 2 kids as well, with a constant stream on negative commentary. By the time the meal came I was stressed, he was annoyed I hadnt done it his way (he would never share what his way was) the kids usually picked up on my stress or annoyed that I kept seeing them back into the living room when they just wanted to see us. If one of the kids were apprehensive about eating new food, he would quickly get angry. Even if the toddler was being a bit fussy. Then we would all be sat there in silence. I would feel like I had a rock in my stomach. Couldnt eat, the kids would be upset. I would usually end up not eating. Ds has issues around food now.
So when dp comes in to the kitchen to speak to me I can not continue cooking until he leaves. So he rarely does. When we sit down to eat, if ds (now 8) says he isnt that hungry or he isnt keen on something, my stomach clenched and I cant feel my stomach tightening.
Dp knows all this. Dp tries to stay out if the kitchen and if ds isnt eating much, dp just leave me to it to handle it. I admit I am not great at making ds eat something now, but I can still see the stress on his face when he tells me he doesnt like something. It took 2 years to get to the point he could actually tell me he wasnt very hungry or didnt like something. But you can still see the stress. I try and encourage him to eat more of try another bite. But that's it.
Sorry that's a long post. But I doubt meal times will ever be the same again for me or ds. Even after counselling we both still feel it. I hate myself for not leaving sooner.