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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Old relationships

6 replies

littleanger · 20/09/2019 21:15

Has anyone who's ever been in an abuse relationship (finally got out) have horrific flash backs if you hear a certain word...for me I'm is the word stupid...my new partner just called me it in a silly way but it's just made me feel shit and just wanting to cry in the corner 😔😔

OP posts:
Needtobuildabridge · 20/09/2019 21:34

Yes. All the time.

I'm currently going through CBT to get through it. It's absolutely shit, but I'm starting to see the other side.

Is this an option for you? 💜

Interestedwoman · 20/09/2019 21:53

Hi @littleanger , I have EMDR for other stuff but have heard it's useful for trauma etc. I thought it was a load of bollox before I tried it, but the results have been excellent. I can't recommend it highly enough.

rvby · 20/09/2019 23:09

@littleanger I get this a lot, it can be really hard.

For me it's when I'm directing dp in the car if we're driving somewhere. Once in a blue moon I'll send him in the wrong direction and I go into a flustered panic and feel absolutely sick. My ex used to get furious with me if I misdirected him.

My dp has taken to just saying "I promise I'm not angry with you, everything is ok" very calmly until I settle down... it's really embarrassing but that's life i guess.

Sorry you're going through the same thing. Be kind to yourself for it, its not your fault x

user1481840227 · 21/09/2019 01:37

So happy to hear that you found EMDR good interestedwoman.

I'm currently at the first stage, the talking stage with a therapist and hoping to move onto EMDR now in the next couple of sessions.

I get massively triggered by certain things due to previous abusive relationships, parents and men! so I am excited to try EMDR and hopefully lessen the impact that traumatic memories have on me!

nannytothequeen · 21/09/2019 06:39

Crass. My ex used to direct that at me a lot.

Tilltheendoftheline · 21/09/2019 07:25

All the time

The worst one is dp being in the kitchen when I am cooking .

Exh did most of the cooking, he worked from home but had worked a chef forb10byeara when I met him. When we were first married, if i cooked we would sit down to the meal and they would be stuff in the meal I hadnt put in. If I left the kitchen he would go in and add stuff 'only so it tasted better and you would be proud of what you cooked'.

I got fed up with it. No point in me cooking if everytime left the kitchen he went in changed it. I even asked him to cook with me so I would pick up tricks from him. But he wouldnt. So he ended up doing most of the cooking.

Then he moaned about doing it most of the time. We had kids so he would cook I would tidy up toys, watch the kids, play with them etc. So I said it was fair enough he was fed up and started taking it in turns. But when I cooked he wouldnt watch the kids, so they were in and out if the kitchen, moaning, asking for something, wanting the TV turning over etc. I hated the toddler running in the kitchen when the oven was on. He sat in the kitchen and He wouldnt answer the kids but just constantly criticise what I was doing. Its wasnt down right nasty. Just a constant stream of 'you are doing that wrong' and 'you arent being careful with that knife' and 'did you wash your hands?'.

Plus i was the one sorting the kids. So I was cooking, trying to sort 2 kids as well, with a constant stream on negative commentary. By the time the meal came I was stressed, he was annoyed I hadnt done it his way (he would never share what his way was) the kids usually picked up on my stress or annoyed that I kept seeing them back into the living room when they just wanted to see us. If one of the kids were apprehensive about eating new food, he would quickly get angry. Even if the toddler was being a bit fussy. Then we would all be sat there in silence. I would feel like I had a rock in my stomach. Couldnt eat, the kids would be upset. I would usually end up not eating. Ds has issues around food now.

So when dp comes in to the kitchen to speak to me I can not continue cooking until he leaves. So he rarely does. When we sit down to eat, if ds (now 8) says he isnt that hungry or he isnt keen on something, my stomach clenched and I cant feel my stomach tightening.

Dp knows all this. Dp tries to stay out if the kitchen and if ds isnt eating much, dp just leave me to it to handle it. I admit I am not great at making ds eat something now, but I can still see the stress on his face when he tells me he doesnt like something. It took 2 years to get to the point he could actually tell me he wasnt very hungry or didnt like something. But you can still see the stress. I try and encourage him to eat more of try another bite. But that's it.

Sorry that's a long post. But I doubt meal times will ever be the same again for me or ds. Even after counselling we both still feel it. I hate myself for not leaving sooner.

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