Making that break

[brokenladyxx]

I really need some help and advice how to get away from a relationship. We been together 8 years got 2 kids together. For the last 6 years he's abused me physically and mentally. I really just want to leave but I love him and I wouldn't know where to start being on my own after all this time. I don't have a relationship with any of my family or friends it's just breaking my heart now. I'm in constant fear of the mood he's going to be in or if I've done something wrong. When we're good we're great. He provides for me and the kids we want for nothing but it's not worth the abuse I'm suffering. The horrible things he says I'm just so low emotionally having nobody to talk to. I have tried to get help before from the doctor but she just gave me a number to ring for domestic violence and I could never get threw to anybody!

Please help x

I’m sorry you are in this situation but you must get away. He doesnt love you, as if he did he couldnt hurt you. I dont think you love him either, just the person he sometimes is, and the person you wish him to be. But he is not that person - not a good man. Some wise mumsnetters will be along shortly but you should contact Womens Aid again and get some help.

Well done you have taken the first step, knowing you need to do something. Can this be something that helps you reconnect with family/friends? You can do this ! wishing you lots of strength

Bump

Yes I think the man I fell in love with is long gone. I just hate thinking my kids will be from a 'broken home'
Wish I could just go back in time to the happier days x

What about all mine and my kids things? I want him to leave but I know this won't happen x

The home is already broken by him isnt it? They will be much happier with you alone - they will feel the pressure and tension right now. Please get some help. Is there anyone in real life who can help you make a plan?

There's nobody really because of him I don't speak to any family or have any friends. Of course the home is broken I just feel guilty because when it's good it's good x

But for it to be properly good it has to be like that the whole time? Is it sooooo good that its worth putting up with the bad and living in fear? I dont think so and i think people get worse not better the longer it goes on. Your DCs will learn thats how relationships are - a daughter will look for someone like him to be with as thats what she knows and a son will think thats how men behave with women. Cant you appeal to family for help surely they will want to help you and DCs and if not womens aid. You deserve a better life - we only have one dont we?

Wouldnt it be nice waking up in the morning without the fear of what the day might bring?

Bump

How are you doing OP

@Lozzerbmc I know it's like I understand in my own head this isn't healthy but I just make excuses for it and seem to put up with it. Your right it would be lovely to get the huge weight lifted not having to worry every time he comes home incase he's in a vile mood. My head knows to leave my heart is making me stay.

I'm doing good we've had a good 3 days but it won't last it never does. I'm only 23 I never imagined growing up I would tolerate this kind of shit x

@Lozzerbmc I've done a name change now x

Hi yes leaving is a big step as its fear of unknown but you are so young and at 23 you’ve your whole life ahead of you. Dont waste your youth being at best miserable and at worst in danger? You would have to put careful plans in place so you and DCs are protected financially and physically.

Can you perhaps put together a plan - do you work - if not can you get a job and childcare? Are the children at school? Do you have any savings? Can you get some money together? I think you need proper advice can you get in touch with womens aid and citizens advice to see where you stand with your home etc?