My first post so go easy please
I'm sure many have read and heard of a situation like mine before as I have too but I'm literally feeling at a very low point now.
I have two DC (10,3) me and my ex broke up around mid way through pregnancy with youngest and are on good terms. I've been in and out of the dating scene and I'm really starting to give up, like I feel it's me but don't know what to do I've been on antidepressants and even seen councilors but it doesn't seem to really make me feel any better. The people I've met usually it goes well until a month down the line then they turn for example.. one was keeping me around I learnt after abit but he was talking to another girl too planning a life with her and making excuses to me often about us he went on to having a baby with this person within 2 months of us aswell. Then another I travelled quite abit to meet him as I thought it was all worth it after we spoke every single day and got on, still was fine until he ghosted me to a degree came back a few months later wanting to chat like nothing happened then again blanked me.. now he's hanging around with a married couple and there kids every week (which I find slightly odd but heyho) to get to the point I just feel like I'm alone, i don't just want company I would like a normal relationship I don't have any friends and I'm not joking about that I literally have none, I only have my mum who I know will always be there for me. I have my children 24/7 with the odd one day off a month if that.
How do people find anyone normal.. I've lost trust I think over the years and now the thought of preparing for a date just fills me with dread not excitement as it should. I obviously don't "need" to have someone but in my life I feel the one missing part is a partner who loves me vice versa and isn't going anywhere sounds daft maybe? But it's all I ever wanted. People constantly tell me your still young your time will come etc.. maybe it will but how much of these crappy dates can someone go through before being physically drained?
Not sure what I'm wanting from this maybe just support and advice as I'm sure others have been through it.