I am trying to get financial settlement sorted on my own, after leaving my narcissistic ex husband, who had lied, cheated on me, verbally, physically, enotionally and financially abused me and our children.I can't afford a solicitor. I tried to get legal aid, but couldn't get it.
I feel so hurt, that they don't even realise the lives they have destroyed, the hearts they have broken and they just carry on with their wonderful narcissistic lives, posting it all on social media. I'm not on it, but friends keep telling me everything, even when i ask them not to.
He took half of our house equity and invested in a property with his mother, without my knowledge. He is a narcissistic mummy's boy enmeshed with her.
Long story short. The solicitor he was using, became frustrated and pissed off with him, she took her fees out of the remaining house equity and then sent the remaining money to him!
He claims he didn't ask her to do this. I was told that he would have known what was happening, so more lies. You can't just have a chunk of money turn up!
I don't know why she didn't send it on to his new solicitor. This has put me in a vulnerable situation, as if I piss him off, he could spend the money and myself and the children will get nothing.
I have asked the legal ombudsmen and SRA for help and advice, but got nothing.
I do not have a solicitor, I was seeing one through Women's Aid, but I have been signed off.
I have been backed into a corner by him, saying he will only give me part of the equity. New Consent forms for the judge have been drawn up. It was in the hands of a judge, but a crucial letter his solicitor should have sent, never arrived and my ex husband's figures on the consent form didnt tally up.
My ex lied and lied to child maintenance services, telling them he is unemployed ,but he is working his mum's B&B and coffee shop and works online also, he will be printing money.
He has given me and the children a pittance over the past 3 years. Last week I was told he went to Bali with the woman he was having an affair with during our marriage, scuba diving, which is heart breaking to hear. I haven't even had a night away in 3 years.(Can't afford it). I always thought narcissists treated their new supply just as bad, but he is literally doing amazing things with her that we never did.
It can no longer be the love bombing stage as he has been with her for over 4 years!
We were together 18 years. And their relationship overlapped into our marriage.
Our holidays were camping in France!
I have lived hand to mouth with the children and he has rubbed my face in everything with her. I have not been on social media for nearly 4 years just to avoid them, if anything, I think the woman he is with, is even more narcissistic than him, he's met his match! He was an abusive arsehole with me, but he seems to be treating her way better than he ever treated me.(But she does have lots of money). He still tries to triangulate with me. I can't wait to go NC and delete him out of my life. Financial settlement is the last hurdle.
The woman he left me for has a reputation as a bunny boiler. I was told by a friend that she drags her children around with her when she goes after a man, and she has done it again, by giving up her house here, to travel 250 miles to be with him and uprooting her son to do it . She has 2 previous divorces and is loaded. Her oldest daughter became depressed with being dragged around after the men she was with. There is so much more to this story.
Anyway back to original question!
Was this even a legal procedure to send him the rest of the house equity and not send it onto the new solicitor until the court consent order was issued?