I've been with my husband 6 years. As he is from abroad I've never met his family though occasionally chat to his niece to update the family on life etc. We are separating due to infidelity so I messaged her just to let the family know. She asked what happened and I told her and what she then told me has sent me into a spin. Much of the stuff he told me is simply lies. His ex wife who he said was an alcoholic when they met was nothing of the sort but turned to alcohol follow his cheating to the extent she was hospitalised. He left the country with no one wanting to speak to him and up to his eyeballs in debt - I've since found out he has debt I was unaware of. He told me both parents passed in 2010 but his mum died in 2017. He told me a story of an accident his elder sister was in with him where she died saving him from a car - she was stillborn years before he was even born. It goes on and on. Yet I've spent the last 2 years being told it's my fault the marriage is in trouble. He only went on the dating site to talk. I need to change but when I ask what I don't get a reply. The disappearing and ignoring the phone. The accusations that I'm a bully and controller but when I ask how again nothing. I found messages on his smart watch last week from a woman which was the final straw yet in a counselling session this week in a dramatic set up he rang his phone from a cheap mobile showing me and the counsellor the name (the one from the messages) to prove it had been him all along so I would find them because he wanted to prove when I said I didn't check his phone I was lying. I can't check his phone it's got more security on it than fort Knox. I know it's all lies but I feel like I've walked into some bizarre nightmare where I haven't got a clue who this man is. To top it all off he's acting the victim and refuses to discuss anything. I'm lying in bed now shaking, anxious and feeling sick. I'm confused angry scared. I have felt stuck for months like part of me got lost somewhere and now what I though was real clearly isn't. I know it over but how can I deal with what is clearly an illusion.