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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Getting over a break up with children

1 reply

ysmaem · 19/09/2019 19:53

So my now ex wasn't the childrens father but was a big part of their life (kids still have a regular, amazing relationship with their father). My ex and I broke up Monday and I told the kids yesterday as they have been with their dad up until then. They're very upset and confused as am I. We broke up because over the last 4 months a couple of his relatives have been in a brutal arguement and we've been dragged into it countless times even though it has absolutely nothing to do with us. We've been asked to pass on messages, been getting abusive texts when we've refused. It caused a huge impact on our usual idyllic, peaceful life and I just couldn't cope with the stress of it all and it made me paranoid and anxious and him very depressed and angry. We then began arguing about it and ended up blaming each other that we let his realtives behaviour affect us so negatively. There has been a massive fall out and this week it just finished us off. My kids weren't involved in any of it and are unaware of what happened with his relatives and they're absolutely devastated that my ex has left and are gutted and they think I'm to blame for him leaving. I'm trying to keep the 3 of us in a happy, positive place but it's just so hard. I've deactivated all social media as I just dont want to be contacted by anyone asking what happened or see posts that might upset me. Any tips to make things that little bit easier?

OP posts:
lexiepuppy · 19/09/2019 23:29

This is a sad situation, because it doesn't sound like it was your problem, but his relatives and you got dragged into it. Maybe by having some space apart, you might be able to get together and talk to him about what happened and take it from there. (If that's what you want). In the meantime, just be gentle with yourself, stay off social media, watch light hearted t.v. , eat well, try and stay upbeat for the children, cry out of sight.
Maybe in a few weeks , you can meet up and see if there is any salvaging the relationship. Flowers Good luck.

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