Feeling frustrated and helpless

[Lowryn]

I don't know what to do.
I am on maternity leave and can't see a way of returning to work. DD and DS in nursery would be more than what I bring in.
This on it's own is not the main problem though.
DH is commission only sales and has not been selling enough for months now. All our savings have been used up and we are in debt with two loans that I can't pay.
We are possibly going to be evicted, but even if the landlord says we can stay, paying the rent is tricky.
DH seems to be having one crisis after another. He has lost sight of what is important.
He thought that we would be able to go and live and work in Texas, but now it is looking unlikely. He keeps asking me what he should do, but I am stumped. I saw a job for a window cleaner the other day, the pay was between 20k and 25k but he said that it wasn't what he wanted. I said something along the lines of beggars can't be choosers and have really upset him.
I have always worked and am feeling terrible. I can't bear depending on him like this.

What about him being a sahd for a while while you go to work?

I don't earn enough to support us all and unfortunately he couldn't/wouldn't look after the kids without going insane. He managed DD for 2 weeks when DS was born and almost spontaneously combusted. It wouldn't be fair to the kids.

Surely you'd be entitled to benefits though to make the difference between your wage and what you need.

If he doesnt earn a lot, you have debts then he is going to have to take responsibility and do his share. They are his kids as well.

You feel terrible not working and if you earn more than at least for a while he might have to stay at home for a while.

Is there no way you can both work? What about tax credits?

really 20-25k for a window cleaner where was it???

dh's are crap when they hate/lose their jobs I know

Could he not use the time at home to retrain/study?

Lowryn - I have so much sympathy for you as we are in similar(ish) positions.

Could your DH not look around for a job with a regular income (as commission only must be a nightmare when it isnt ging well)> Also I really think you should go to your local citizen advise bureau about your finances. You cant juggle thins on your own and if you think you might default on your loan you need some advise.

Could you put your name on the council housing list?
IS there a possibilty until you get your finances straight that you could work a couple of evenings/and/or weekends when you dh could watch the kids? (if he cant cope with them then at least in the evening they are in bed)> Do you have friends/family locally that can help you out?

Seriously seek advice about your finances and confront all the issues head on.

Good luck, I know how stressful this is ((hugs))x

We got round this problem by dh working nights . I work parttime and he looks after kids daytime 3 days a qweek. We have no childcare costs and both work.

could you become a childminder lowryn? maybe it wouldn't add much to the equation if you've already got two of your own but it might help a bit?

I am seeing the consultant at the CAB on 5th Oct. I hope to come out clearer then!
We have been speaking to the council and they say that the landlord has informed them that we are trying to make ourselves homeless voluntarily (Eh!) and so they can't help us.
No friends or family locally to help out.
DH has been trying to get a "proper" job but his CV isn't very good. Too much double glazing, plus he is a bankrupt.

sorry, my post was a bit bald, just to say i really feel for you and know that horrible tense trapped feeling - well done for taking action re cab - hope you find a way through this.

Acnebride (great name) I thought about childminding, but I guess I am worried about the eviction thing at the moment to look into it.

I am off to go and post an irreverant thread to cheer myself up!