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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Toxic group

1 reply

toooldforthebitchiness · 18/09/2019 19:39

So this is about my 'girls group'

We are all late 30's and I just think the group is so toxic for a few reasons, bitching behind other girls backs, competition with regards to money, I.e keeping up with each other on a night out - one of my friends' (in the group) husband was saying the other day that they are in debt basically because they try to keep up with everyone else on a night out! I think a few must be like this but there are a fair few that are well off (some have worked hard for it).

Also some will plan a night out and leave people out say on a girls night out - I know it all sounds childish - I've seen this happen to friends and I've been on the receiving end. I try to include everyone in things like that, I know you can't be invited to everything but it's hurtful when you are the one that's left out or forgotten about.

There are lots of other things annoying me too but this post is long enough already!

Within this group I have 2 best friends, 3 or 4 close friends and then 5/6 girls i would class as acquaintances. My 2 best friends aren't involved in what I described above.

I'm getting really fed up of the group and want to try and distance myself - but still keep the relationships with the ones that I am close to - my problem is that I don't get out much, am a single mum and outside of this group I only have one or two other friends who I don't go out with and see very rarely. I know that if I distanced myself I would feel lonely and even more isolated!

Any advice? Been in the same situation? I want to talk to my best/close friends about how I'm feeling but a bit worried it might cause a rift...

OP posts:
SpagBowl99 · 18/09/2019 20:12

Perhaps you could invite them round for a quiet night in at yours and ask them how they think everyone is getting on?

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