Relationships in your 30's

[lookingforaunicorn]

So I've just come out a LTR. Just want to hear some success stories about being able to find love, getting married and having children in your 30s..... 😊 would love to hear some positive stuff... and how you met! X

I came out of a LTR because I knew I didn’t want children etc with that man

I moved in on my own dated ALOT had a great time doing so and eventually met my DP on tinder (so there are good ones) and now we are expecting our first child

I hope that gives you hope! Took me 3 years to be ready to settle down again

Left a complete tosspiece of an abusive narcissist aged 30. Been with him for 3 years, wasted the last years of my 20s on him. I remember he bought me a teapot for my 30th birthday, which I then had to make tea in.

Spent some time enjoying nights out, tinder, doing whatever I wanted to do - it was brilliant. Stumbled upon a beautiful man (I was at work, I looked like shit, wasn't looking for a relationship). Fell head over heels on our first date, 4 years later we're engaged and getting married in June.

He was a lovely surprise.

OP - you’ll hear success stories if that’s what you want to hear.
However - it’s also quite a difficult age to date if you want to have children.
Your name - looking for a Unicorn - unfortunately is what gets most women in trouble.
Don’t set your criteria so high that no one can meet it.
You only have a short window to have kids. You may or may NOT met the Love of Your Life in that time. And you might have to make a choice between waiting for that Unicorn or having kids with just a normal, regular, good guy.

Op I’m about to turn 30 in December and My last Rship wasn’t great and quite toxic I too haven’t got children and it’s a worry of mine.

However I have to say I don’t get why PP has said your 30s are a difficult age to date if you want children at all you haven’t said You are in your late 40s ?

Pretty confused by that comment. Many of my friends had children in mid 30s some in their late 20s. I’m not sure where in your 30s However but from reading on here many women have kids in there early 40s

In early 20s people date and just have fun, and thinking about the figure kids isn’t necessarily a part of it.
Then in late 20s and early 30s people start thinking about settling down, but aren’t yet running out of time to have children.
However if women haven’t met a partner to have kids with by mid-30s, the urgency kicks in.
And men sense it. They tend to be scared away by this pulpable urgency to get into relationship/have kids that women in mid-late 30s often exhibit.
Men don’t have the same urgency normally, so there is a mismatch. And stress and unhappiness.

OP - you are still young and no reason why it shouldn’t work out for you.

Why are some posters assuming that OP’s standards are too high? My experience and that of all my single friends is that the standard of men left single at this age is woeful. I’ve been used for sex, stalked, lied to, stood up and ghosted - and most of those men I met in real life, not online. I’ve given up and accepted I will not meet anyone decent.

I stayed in a LTR that was unhealthy & controlling for too many years.

I had came to terms with the fact I would be on my own. I wouldn't entertain the wrong person again. I rarely fancy anyone, all of my friends were settled with kids, my social life wasn't what it used to be & I didn't want to internet date.

A few months later, I was asked on a date on the only night out I had post break up. I almost never went out as I had slightly green patchy hair! Good job it was dark!
I agreed to go on the date but was reluctant & thought it was a waste of time.
I was wrong, best thing I ever did. I couldn't have created someone better for me, I thought this kind of relationship would never exist for me. 2 years on we have a home together and are expecting our first baby

You're in a good position. A lot of people (men especially) these days tend to spend their 20's dating, working hard and having fun then they hit 30 and want to settle.

Of course you'll come across the odd playboy who is in his 30's and never wants to settle but there will 10 men that want to, to every 1 man that doesn't.

I'm 30 now, have a very young child and I'm married. I was late 20's before I had my son. I think you've got a good decade before you need to panic

My 20s were a series of disastrous very short term relationships. I was starting to think that I was incapable of finding anyone that would stick with me for longer than 4 months or so. When I turned 30, I met a man on tinder. 4 years later, we're engaged and our first child is due next week. So yes, of course it can happen. You are far from being past your sell by date (whenever that is supposed to be!).

I would say make sure you are completely over your ex before starting anything else. And decide in advance what your dealbreakers are and stick to them.

Weird thread some posters seem to think you are 40 not 30.

All my family and friends who aren't divorced met their partners in their 30s and around 40.

The only 2 were one or both partners in the couple were in their 20s and are still married are my oldest 2 half-brothers who are the same age. My sisters and friends who met their ex-husbands in their 20s are divorced.

When you are 30 or older you have a better idea what you want from a partner. In your case go and have a bit of fun before you settle down.

Thank you for replying! I will definitely make sure I'm over this one and have fun first....
I am 30, 31 in January. So not 'past it' by any means.

@MMmomDD I personally think your post is a load of rubbish; my standards are high but why shouldn't they be?? I see far too many people settle because their man is a 6 or 7/10 and thats 'good enough' so they 'stick it out'. Lots of my friends with 7's are miserable!!
I won't compromise my standards.

Also, I'm 30. Not desperate for kids, but im quite happy to do it on my own around 36/37 but that's not my preference.

I only asked for success stories - not opinion on wether I was doing the right thing or wether I'd have to just take what I can get. So let's hear more success stories please 😊

I personally believe we are a product of what we think and believe so I'm ready to believe that someone perfect for me (not perfect) is out there and I will meet him in the next couple of years. There's always hope! It's nice hearing other people have got what they wanted too....

I got out of a LTR when I was 29 (currently 37) Although I knew it was the right thing to do, at that age it's only fair as a women, to have all them 'tic tocking' fears.
Within months I literally bumped into my DP on a night out. At first I thought it was too soon but he ticked so many boxes and was persistent so I went with it. So happy I did, 8 years later we own a home and have a beautiful little girl.

If you do a search you'll find lots of threads on this. There's usually one every two or three weeks, you might find some useful stuff on those.

Thank you ❤