I don't even know where to start really! To cut a long story short I have been my partner for 7 years we met in our early/mid twenties and we have two children one from a previous relationship one together. Now ever since we met he's always loved a drink and a night out and that was fine back in the day but for years and years now he has really taken the piss and is walking all over me and I don't know what to do anymore he goes to the pub anywhere between 1-4 nights a week or goes to a mates house to drink he never tells me he's going there instead I sit at home waiting for him to come home from work most evenings calling him over and over again with no answer then every time he switches his phone off and 9 times out of 10 he doesnts come home all night! Sometimes I even speak to him on his way home from work and he says oh can't wait for dinner babe or that he's missed us today but still doesn't bother coming home o don't get it! And I'm so sick of it I feel like I've gone through hell and back with his binge drinking nights out for years now sometimes he can go missing for up to 3 days to with his phone off the whole time. It makes me feel awful, I don't feel good enough anymore, my confidence is knocked I hate that my kids have to be around us arguing when he finally returns and I feel like I've done everything thing to help him and support him he has even recently spent £350 on getting drink councilling and didn't go out for 2 months but then was soon back to his old tricks! Even the councilor has said he's not a alcoholic it's his choice. I even kicked him out before and he begged to come back crying and promising he will change, I've cried my heart out to him over and over again begging him to change and although he agrees at the time and says the right things he doesn't in the end. He's always sorry when he's home then he either turns on the tears or starts saying stuff for me to feel sorry for him like he's a shit person, and there must be something wrong with him! Then the drink makes him depressed after for a few days so I have to deal with his mood swings. He ruins everything he got drunk valentine's Day and didn't come home, on mother's Day, the day before our sons birthday when we had planned a day out the next day, I was going away for 3 nights abroad for my friends hen do and he didn't come back home after going missing for 2 days before I had to last minute drop the kids to my mum's else I would of missed my flight then I spend the whole hen do crying and worrying about where he was feeling hurt yet again that he let me down, and last weekend he went out drinking and didn't come home untill the day we where having a family weekend away which completely ruined the whole weekend. Surely he doesnt love me even though he says he does. Please help with any advice I'm misreble it's completely dragging me down but for some reason I can't leave because he always says the right thing the next day I don't want to be this unhappy anymore.