...can this become unfair in itself?
Genuinely curious to see people's views. The relationships has since broken up for a multitude of reasons but I'm doing a lot of reflecting about what was/wasn't reasonable.
Context: moved in with partner. I was working a 9-5 job. I always knew I didn't want to work long hours - I value my free time, hobbies, socialising and downtime etc. So part of my reasoning for taking the job was it being a 9-5 job where they were flexible and valued people not just workers.
Partner working long, difficult/impossible to predict hours - an average week would be out of our home maybe 8-7 Mon - Sat and half a day Sunday too if it were a heavy week. They were self-defined but it's not like they could then just choose to work 2 hours a day.
I understood that more of the cleaning, food shopping etc fell to me - but the argument was pretty much that I had the free time to do it therefore I should do almost all/all of it because of this. When I said that I didn't think that was fair and I'd specifically chosen a job to enable me to have a good amount of free time etc I was told that I could leave them and I'd still end up doing the same amount of cleaning/cooking etc so it was up to me.
They couldn't quite see the backwards logic as to in that case they'd have it all to do too!
As I say, it's over now so doesn't 'matter' other than me trying to learn my boundaries and acceptable behaviours going forwards. I genuinely don't know where to sit on this.
Yes: people should both have free time. But in this case, where the hours are so drastically different due to career choices, where does it even out? I had all of Saturday therefore could get all the jobs done and they didn't lose free time? Or unfair of me to have to spend my Saturdays cleaning when I chose a job with balance on purpose?
Give me your opinions, please!