Hi all,
I am reaching out to see if anyone has been through the same thing or similar because I am finding it so hard to get people to relate to me
Long story short- me and my partner was together for 8 years and have a 2 year old daughter together I also have a daughter to a previous relationship although my recent ex was always much more of a dad to her.
for two years (since daughter no2 ) my ex has slowly but surely transformed himself into a completely different person. He is now a modern day hippy to the most extreme level, theres a lot more to that particular story but I wont bore you all. I believe he has had abit of a break down since baby came along and hes took the responsibility of providing a healthy lifestyle too far to the point where he is a extreme vegan who will only drink /cook/ wash veg in distilled water. He also got rid of all of his lovely clothing in exchange for basic organic cotton clothing and he now wears multiple crystals daily. This is all gradually happened over two years week in week out it was something new. I talked to his parents and expressed my worries but they didn't see the issues until we actually broke up and he lived back at theres , they too are now worried but its past the point. My ex doesn't believe he is doing anything wrong and laughs when we offer any type of help or support. He came to me towards the end of the relationship and said if you and the kids don't turn vegan we cant be a family any more, (not that we was much of a family anyway) I thuaght he was joking and I was desperate to keep us together at the time in hope this was just a phase so I turned vegan. It still wasn't good enough though I was never going to be as passionate about health as him. He then said for us to get rid of the television and internet , i just felt like i was permently fighting against society and I would explain this to him but he was so adamant .We would just argue and fight all the time and the relationship became very vile and toxic so we parted ways.
That's when hewent back to his parents and then eventually got his own place -its been just under a year now but its not getting easier for me . I feel like I am just continuing life the way it always was whilst he has this whole new life hanging around with a whole new set of friends who are likeminded.
The pain of watching him change person week by week was so painful, I physically watched him fall out of love with me and when he told me I am not his type anymore it really hurt me. he still claims he will always love me but I know that isn't true. I feel like me and the kids have just been completely dropped, he does still see the children but only one and a half days a week, the rest is spent with his friends talking about veg.
He is self employed and deciding to work less and less which is worrying but I'm concentrating on myself and my own money issues.
I just don't know how to get over this situation, I know everyone is entitled to change and grow but when it majorly effects the person you once loved and also your children I cant help but hate him for it all.
Every time I come in contact with him when he picks the kids up I go back into the house crying , like the only way I can describe it is that I am grieving a person who is still alive. I feel like I held on far to long hoping it was all a nightmare that I would wake from - its seriously damaged me.
Apart from feeling completely numb and in shock of what's actually happened. me and the girls are doing really well i've adjusted back to the stress of single mum life and the house does feel like a home again because we have no one giving us lecture about health 24/7.