Advice on financial control

[Shinygreenelephant]

Hiya, just looking for some advice. Ive recently given up my well paid job to be a stay at home mum - this was a mutual decision between me and my now ex partner. I got my last wage last month, and my partner put £2000 of it into "our" savings, which I was fine with at the time. My name isnt on the ISA, although we do have a joint bank account, but the money in it was supposed to be both of ours, for holidays etc.

We've now split up, no chance of a reconciliation as he put his fist through a window with our two children upstairs. They were scared and upset and I'll never let that happen again. I'm having to go onto universal credit, which will barely cover the mortgage/bills and will have a big delay before the first payment. Hes cleared out the joint account leaving me with nothing. My older daughter has £30 birthday money in her purse which is all we have.

I've asked him to send me the 2 grand back from my wages - he can keep all the rest of the savings, I dont care, but I need my wages to tide us over. He's refusing. Is there anything I can do legally to make him pay? Or is it technically his now its in that account? I can prove where it came from and have no problem getting the police involved if I have to.

Just to add, I can look for another job but have a 6 month old baby and noone living close to help so childcare wise it will be difficult.

I hope someone with real knowledge can help you, you could try the legal board. My impression unfortunately is that an account in his name is his and you effectively gave him your money. Joint accounts are also such that each name has full rights to it I think but you'd be as well to close that quickly. I'm sorry. He sounds like a total shit.

I doubt you have a hope of getting it back.

Could you look to move near family, if they would be supportive?

I think hes having some kind of nervous breakdown to be honest. Ive tried everything to help him but I'm done now. Thanks for replying xxx

I don't think a mental breakdown explains the spite of emptying the joint bank account when you have a child together. I wouldn't waste energy feeling sorry for him or looking for justifications. Concentrate on yourself.

Children, sorry

What's his reason for refusal?

I mean obviously he just wants to keep it, but surely in his head he's not making himself out to be the bad guy, so how is he justifying it?

What's your relationship like with his parents? Are they likely to be totally backing their son, or would they be concerned about their grandkids being left without money for food?

I'm wondering if you could get it back via them?

Could you contact your employer to see if you can go back?

Hes sent me it along with 200 for the window. Full of apologies and is going to look into counselling while living with a friend. Ive tried hard enough to fix him he can fix himself now but at least hes stopped being a dickhead. Thanks for all the replies xxxxxxxx

Oh great news. That must be a relief.

I'd get yourself off any joint accounts so that on his next swing to rage he doesn't create joint debt.

Don't let the fact he gave it back and his woe outweigh him clearing you out in the first place.

Close the joint account before he takes out a loan. Call solicitors today and go see one who does a free half hour. Get a claim for cms in today.