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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Getting over breakup-was it bad?

17 replies

Hown · 16/09/2019 22:15

I need advice or probably just to be told to get over myself! I moved for work six months ago and about a month after I met someone who I dated for 4 months until he ended it about a month ago. Right before he ended it we were spending a lot of time together, I’d met some of his friends and he’d asked me to meet his parents but the timing didn’t work out. He talked about specific things we would do in the future together etc. Then I went away on a trip and when I came back he ended it, saying he realised I was missing some of the criteria he’d told himself to look for, in particular our lifestyles were too different. I accepted that he’d ended it even though I was really upset. He kept texting me afterwards though, one day sending me 12 messages one after the other keeping me up to date with what he was up to. The last message was “xxx”. I didn’t respond (I’d already sent emotional texts immediately afterwards and then finally one saying I accepted it and learned from it etc and he also kept repeating I wasn’t right for him so I knew there was no hope) and the next night he sent me a photo with a message saying the thing in the photo made him think of me. I sent him a thumbs up emoji the next day. He kept liking my posts on Facebook and Instagram. To be honest, I was posting to show him I wasn't at home crying because he’d said I wasn’t sociable (really not true) and he needed someone sociable. I unfriended him to save myself seeing his name.

He’d mentioned after about 2 months that our lifestyles were different and it made him sad that it might mean it wouldn’t work out. I told him that if he thought it wouldn’t work I'd prefer to end it while I wasn’t too attached. I felt really down after he said it but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it because he said he was just being honest and didn’t want it to end. He actually intensified things after that, asking to see me three or four times a week, introducing me to friends, planning things for the future, getting me a special pillow for staying over etc so I really didn’t see the end coming.

A few weeks ago he asked me to meet for coffee and I said it was too soon and now he’s asked me again. I don’t know what to do because I’m really upset still (which I know is ridiculous – it’s been a month) and I’ve had time to think about it and part of me thinks he was just faking it all along. I was in an abusive relationship for a long time and I’ve spent the last four years working on myself and I’m not sure if I was about to make the same mistake again or he’s a nice guy who got fed up.

Some red flags at the beginning were on a couple of our first dates he picked up his phone while we were having dinner and answered calls, having a one or two minute conversation. He didn’t apologise before or after. He didn't even acknowledge it. I told myself it was okay because he was moving house.

I have a skin issue on my arms that no one I’ve been with has ever mentioned and he brought it up on the 2nd date, asking me what was wrong with them and telling me normally it would bother him but because he liked me he didn’t mind. He brought it up again twice, once asking me if I could fix it and the second time if he could catch it. I was embarrassed but he seemed like a child asking an inappropriate question rather than making fun of me.

The last time we went out before he ended it, we were meeting some of his friends and he start nitpicking my skin and my makeup (I think my foundation wasn’t rubbed in properly) but he wouldn’t tell me exactly what was wrong and he wouldn’t reassure me before we left the house. He did the same thing when we were at the bar - this time my eyeliner. I got a bit annoyed with him, in a jokey way, and he said he was just really picky. Afterwards I blamed myself thinking maybe I over-reacted and that’s why he ended it. I find it very hard to stand up for myself.

The other major thing for me is that he told me he takes pills occasionally but it was starting to seem more frequent. He has a good job but loves to party. I sound so stupid but he kept blowing his nose in a way that seemed painful. I thought he had allergies but then he said it’s because he used to take cocaine. But now I think maybe he still does. His dad is an alcoholic and he told me his mother is really critical so I suppose I felt sorry for him. He talked a lot about his “issues”. He was also always complaining about his ex, saying she was too needy and didn’t like him going to things with other girls – they lived together and broke up four years ago and I got the impression he was staying out all night. He told me he cheated on her at the end. He was also obsessed with his sister's bad relationship. Whenever he'd start talking about his sister I couldn't get a word in - she was with some guy who was married when they met.

One night he drove us to an event 40 minutes from his house and while we were there he had a few drinks. It turned out he’d had some drinks before I got to his house too. He got drunk and I had to get him food and coffee and we waited a few hours but I was terrified driving home with him and I could tell he was put out that I was scared. I don’t drive so it had never occurred to me to wonder about the limit. I just assumed, naively, that people like him wouldn’t drink and drive and I’d never seen him drunk before. We were supposed to go to another event the week after he ended it and I had asked about how we would get there and back and had suggested a hotel. I think he thought I was a downer on the party.

Before this gets anymore longwinded, I just really need some perspective. Should I meet him for coffee? Have I dodged a bullet? He was really lovely and affectionate besides the times when he did or said things that made me feel off. My ex was violent and cruel. Was I just desperate and ignoring red flags? Was he just looking for a therapist while waiting for someone he actually liked to turn up?

Thanks to anyone who actually read this rambling!!!

OP posts:
Mumcomehere · 16/09/2019 23:11

I'd say you've had a lucky escape, you dont need this sort of person in you life. Next time he messages you, just tell him, no you wont be meeting up for coffee, then block and delete.

sandyvacancy · 17/09/2019 09:30

Absolutely not, he sounds abusive and you’re better than that

newmefor2020 · 17/09/2019 09:38

Lucky escape OP. Don’t meet him, you deserve more Flowers

Bunglefromrainbow · 17/09/2019 09:40

Might be best to try and draw a line under this one and just go no contact.
It sounds to me like he is right, you are two different people with different expectations from life and a different idea on what is fun and what isn't.
You don't say exactly what he wants from this "coffee" and to be honest I can only think he wants to have his cake and eat it so to speak, to break off the relationship and any expectation that your lives should be more closely aligned while still having you in his life and no doubt for a physical relationship to continue.

Move on and cut contact, otherwise you'll likely end up in his bed and not really getting over it.

category12 · 17/09/2019 10:20

Dodged a bullet!

He was all about making you feel bad about yourself and cutting you down. Stay away.

Maybe do the freedom programme to help you spot the red flags and act on them, and reset your relationship boundaries.

Gemma1971 · 17/09/2019 10:32

The nitpicking over your appearance - and REALLY early on in the relationship, is a huge red flag.

It is unacceptable anyway. A couple who have been together for ages and maybe say, hey, you have a little lipstick on your teeth, or... oops, you missed a bit shaving, let me help you, in a POSITIVE way... different.

But not what he has done to you. I know it is wrong, it was done to me too, he started out finding fault with my arms, my breast, my skin, then my legs, my hair, my bottom, by belly.... a few weeks in some of them.. some of them I am ASHAMED to say, YEARS IN.... yes I stayed with someone who had the fucking nerve to nitpick me at the START.

It is a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge red flag and I can't say that enough.

And yes, he is still doing coke if he is sniffing and blowing like that. I know those signs too.

There is nothing redeeming about him in your description, he sounds like an arsehole and men who do this criticising thing to partners - and usually about stuff they can't change!!! - are abusers and do not change.

The only thing to change here is your attitude towards him. Stop trying to understand or excuse his shitty abuse and ignore him and move on. Nothing good ever comes out of a situation where one person is this nasty.

Gemma1971 · 17/09/2019 10:38

Drink driving as well.... sorry OP, wake the f* up, that is UNACCEPTABLE. He could have killed someone... YOU could have been killed.

Bloody hell, he's an utter twat...

It sounds as if abuse is your normal. Your ex was abusive and physically.

You need to get your head straight with counselling, Freedom Program, something to help you get out of your pattern of thinking and picking men and allowing their abuse. You may have seen abuse in your family and it is normalised for you? Low self-esteem for some reason.

I can relate to all this. I am in my late 40s and it has taken me years.

This man is toxic and a hateful drunk driver. He may have had coke before driving as well. Good God that in itself should be enough to put you off for life.

The planet is full of men. Why pick this turdy example of one? I know why... it's programming. And I'm saying all this because someone has to and I am sure many more posters will and maybe the penny will drop for you that this man is horrid but you aren't sure because your brain has been taught that this is ok.

It isn't. Wake up and open your eyes and see him for what he really is. A scumbag. You DO deserve better.

Notcoolmum · 17/09/2019 10:55

Delete and block him. And never get in to a car with someone who has been drinking like that. He could have killed you. He's abusive and doesn't deserve any more of your time.

Gemma1971 · 17/09/2019 10:56

Your entire post screams abuser...he even told you he cheated on his ex.... he pulls your appearance to pieces... does drugs.... massive sense of entitlement... drinking then driving....

And you question it all because of the times he was lovely...except for those other shitty times.

I KNOW because I have been there, don't waste any more time. He has you doubting yourself and your appearance and is he really a nice person but so troubled etc etc....

Abuser aren't horrible ALL the time, if they were, there would be no hooks with which to reel us in.

Your brain cannot reconcile bad man with nice man.

Trust me, a nice man does not behave the way you have described in your post. The nice man is a mask to trick you. He treats you like shit and he will cheat on you, he has already prepped you for that. And you are still hanging around even though he told you that and he indirectly blamed his ex - it is never the abuser's fault though.... He has tested your boundaries by criticising you several times and you come back for more.

He knows now that you are an easy target.

I suggest you read up on cognitive dissonance and trauma bonding. Check out Lisa A Romano, Inner Integration, Balance Psychologies and Melanie Tonia Evans. All abuse experts. I have been where you are. I also thought I was the problem.

My ex was a lot like this man you describe. But charming, funny and great in bed.

He cheated on me. Went to sex clubs and prostitutes. Lied and smiled and charmed as he nitpicked over my appearance and blamed his ex for his cheating.

Don't be a mug.

Gemma1971 · 17/09/2019 11:38

He also played a kind of cat and mouse game with you early on. Telling you it wouldn't work out, but then intensifying it.

This is all way too familiar. Lay on attention, criticise, dump, come back, lay on the attention .... and repeat with as many women as will buy his crap.

This on/off, hot then cold behaviour is to knock you off-balance - and it appears to have worked.

Apologies for so many posts. After being through very covert emotional and mental abuse myself, I know these signs and the minute someone posts anything like this, I am on it like a cream cake lol. I just hate to see other people getting taken in by these snakes.

hellsbellsmelons · 17/09/2019 11:50

Did you have any help after your previously abusive relationship?
If not then please do the Womens Aid Freedom Programme ASAP.
This guy has red bunting waving from here to the moon and you are still considering meeting him again.
Your boundaries are all wrong.
Please don't meet him again.
Please avoid another abusive relationship.
You deserve better.
This guy is complete asshole!
RUN - THE HILLS ARE THAT WAY >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Hown · 17/09/2019 17:27

@Gemma1971

I really appreciate every post. Don't apologise. I'm really grateful because I've felt so down about it thinking that I caused it and I put him off so it was good to just have an honest assessment. You were right about having abuse in my family. I feel like such a cliché. My dad is violent and abusive and my mother responded by being emotionally abusive - insulting me, refusing to speak to me for months on end etc. I was a really good kid, a complete perfectionist and people pleaser, so I gave them no excuses but they didn't need excuses. My father is still abusing her and she won't leave. He hasn't hit me since I got my first boyfriend. They're very calculating I think. They are still together and we all still keep the secret. Every day was hell and I am starting to see now how that caused me to have such a high threshold for pain and abuse. I really have been trying to work on it. I was with my ex most of my 20s and I left when I was 30 when he start talking about marriage and kids. I knew I couldn't put kids through that. Growing up I always said I'd never get hit by a man and then when my ex did it I stayed and stayed. I kept blaming myself. I see now that if he'd done any of the horrible things he did to me to a normal girl she'd have called for help or called her parents or friends but I just froze and accepted it. I was worried for him and his reputation! I didn't like it but I just kept letting it happen. I've been reading so much the past three or four years trying to understand myself and making sure it didn't happen again and now here I am. I was almost hoping it was just my ego taking a hit from rejection, although I know it's not because the guy I posted about did more and worse things but I was putting the mildest things in my post. I've downloaded some of those books you recommended on Kindle. Thank you so much. It's so lovely that you'd take the time to give advice like that to a stranger. Thank you.

Also, I'm really ashamed of myself for not standing up to him over the drink-driving. I kept telling him I was afraid for him because he needs his car for work but I was terrified for myself and I kept imagining him hurting people in another car.

Thanks for confirming the coke thing to. I don't have a clue about it but also I'm not completely stupid so I had a feeling he wasn't being completely honest.

You're right about him not being nice. I'm so used to having bad and good together that I don't know what good looks or feels likes. I've only realised that the past few weeks. Two days after he ended it I looked in the mirror and thought 'Oh, you're not really ugly' and I realised my confidence had just been destroyed over the past months.

I'm glad you got through the other side of what you went through. It gives me hope that I can have some happiness in the future. I really try to fix my brain and not be miserable or dwell on the past but I have a lot of learning to do.

OP posts:
category12 · 17/09/2019 17:29

freedomprogramme.co.uk/search2.php

Hown · 17/09/2019 17:32

@hellsbellsmelons

Thanks, I've looked up the freedom programme just now. I'd never heard of it before. Your comment about the bunting made me laugh. Thank you. No, I never considered getting help. I was ashamed and embarrassed. I was 30. I'm mid 30s now. I just kinda thought-oh I'll fix myself and won't do that again.

OP posts:
Hown · 17/09/2019 17:34

@category12

Thank you.

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 18/09/2019 07:52

Do NOT feel ashamed and embarrassed.
YOU did nothing wrong at all.
Thousands upon thousands of very intelligent and strong women are abused daily.
You got out. Be proud of that.
Unfortunately something so ingrained, you can't just 'fix'!
But there is help out there from the likes of Womens Aid and Rights of Women.
Don't shy away from it.
Tackle it head on and get some tools under your belt to help spot things sooner and know when to back the hell away!
You go this!

Hown · 18/09/2019 19:17

@hellsbellsmelons

Thank you.

And thanks to everyone who replied. I really appreciate all the advice.

OP posts:
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