Looking for some hope

[Abbylou2019]

Hi all,

Just looking for some positive stories please.

Brief overview, I’m 32 broke up from a 10 year relationship with somebody who’s really screwed me over (turned into a cheater and now I’m faced with the reality I should have nipped it in the bud years ago) and sold our home so that’s done. Will be renting somewhere else when I can find something but in the meantime, I’m back home with my mum, sister and stepdad.
All my friends are attached, married, babies.... not ONE single friend to keep me company. I’ve tried online dating and tbh it depresses me, never goes anywhere... just lost my confidence, feeling deflated and like I will never ever meet anybody, will be forever alone, will be too late for me to have kids and will be eaten by my cats.

Please can you flood me with your positive stories of light at the end of the tunnel???

TIA

No hope?

What I hear from your post is that you're not happy being on your own. I think you should work on that. Why do you need someone to keep you company?

Sorry, by company I mean, somebody to go for a few drinks with, go out with me so that I can meet other people. I’m not ashamed of not liking being on my own, I’ve done it, been for dinner on my own, holiday on my own and I prefer to have somebody. I’m not getting any younger and I want to settle down, just feel like it’s not gonna happen for me and wondered if anybody else had been through the same and had a happy ending to share

Not been in exactly the same situation, but almost all of my friends (myself included) met their long term partners / husbands past the age of 30... there's plenty of time yet!

Also don't write off on line dating too soon. Sure give it a break if you're not feeling it right now, but it is a good way to meet potential partners in the same headspace as you. I met my husband online.

In the meantime is there a hobby or something you could join to meet people and get out and about? Sport, art class, language, anything really? You may not meet a partner there but with any luck you'll enjoy the activity and have some fun.

Good luck, I'm sure things will be looking up for you soon

Op I'm 52 and the only single person in my group of friends and family.
It used to bother me but I really like my own company and being able to please myself a lot

You're young, you have plenty of time. As someone has already said, don't rush to meet anyone new until you're happy in your own skin.

I left my first husband at the age of 40 with a 7 year old child. I was happily on my own for 18 months. Am now happily remarried (met him on a dating site).

Your young! Plenty of time! The world's different place now! xx

I didn't meet my now DH until I was 34. Strings of long term unsuitable relationships beforehand.

I also had the issue of everyone else being coupled up, no one wanting to hang out on a regular basis (more than once every 6 weeks or so) as they were busy with family and life.

I tried internet dating (in the days of match, gumtree, guardian, plenty of fish, etc - but before tinder) with no success and quite a few hits to my self esteem. If I'd known about the freedom program at that point, I would have done it and saved myself some heartache with the twats I dated.

What worked for me was focussing on being comfortable in my own skin, developing hobbies to meet new friends (female and male), and surprisingly a bar job a night or two a week (outside my full time work) as it got me chatting to more new people and boosted my confidence.

DH is actually my ex flat mates BiL. I knew her now husband for 3 years before he was even mentioned as a prospective partner.

Find your feet as you and be the best person you want to be. A happy you is an attractive you to the right person (also to the wrong ones but freedom program and self esteem will help kick them to the curb quickly).

Good luck on your search. There are still some good guys out there.

One word of advice? Enjoy being single and free! Pursue your hobbies and interests, travel when you want and where you want, broaden your horizons, sleep till late at weekends and watch whatever the hell you want on tv. There's plenty of married people out there who are so jealous of that!! 😜

I was made redundant,and stuck in a ten year relationship/marriage that was toxic and emotionally abusive, I was too young to see it, then I couldn't get out of it. I took a drastic desperate step of moving far away for a new job, once I was away told him he wasn't coming to join me and he knew he had to agree to sell our house and give me a divorce otherwise I had things that could make it far worse for him if I had to seek legal action. I took what was rightfully mine from the house and started again. A short spell of internet dating and I met 'the one'. A little over 3 years later I'm now 32, very happily married and have the little baby id always dreamed id have.