Who’s got my back.....

[sandyvacancy]

I’ve recently split from my husband of 25 years (his decision) and one of the things I’m most struggling with is that there’s now no-one ‘on my side’.

My parents are great, but getting older. I have good friends, and some who’ve been really great during the separation, but ultimately they’re all married with their own hectic lives to lead.

What’s hammered this home for me is I went for a job interview a few weeks ago which would have been a great move for me, but sadly I didn’t get it even though I came close and had put a lot of effort in. I told everyone I was going for it. Apart from my parents no-one else has asked about it. They’ve all forgotten. And it’s hit me that without my husband I’m really alone and no-one is fighting for me anymore.....how do you cope with these feelings?

You come here, and you tell us.

I'm sorry to hear about the job. Are you applying for others?

It is like losing a limb when a long term partner leaves.

I felt the same, but then one friend came through like no other, and we meet as much as we can and have a good old purge and put the world to rights. But it's the same, I have to bring up my subjects and she hers. But I still want to hear them and she's still very interested in mine. I guess the difference is you're not directly affected?

I'm sure you're friends still care greatly for you.

I know exactly what you mean. It's a real loss, to have no "witness to your life" on a daily basis.

Shame about the job! Their loss, the twunts.

Reach out to your friends, you may be surprised what you get back.

Sorry about the job, hopefully you will nail the next one.

I was thinking about this recently.

This is life, really. I was with someone who said he would be there for me through anything, he said a lot but did little and his actions contradicted his words.

My parents have always had my back, also elderly though. I have good friends. Ultimately in life you kind of have to be your OWN best friend. People pass on, so will we one day. As I get older, it gets easier to realise I have my own back. I have to.

Maybe I will meet someone who wants to be there for me, maybe not. In the meantime, have your own back, always.

Thanks all for the kind words

@HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo yes it’s exactly that. Not being witnessed. No-one to tell the minutiae too

@Gemma1971 yes you’re right. What’s the saying ‘you come in on your own and you leave on your own’....

I have been single for many, many years. And this is something I struggle with. I also have a DS who has a disability and honestly having no one there for you when going through the particularly tough times is incredibly lonely.