Hey, need some advice please.. 1st timer

[Pmm1992]

Hey, this is my first post and I'm hoping there is others that can help 🤞
Me and my other half are together 3 years we had our LO last August 2018. We decided together to have children and that we were ready.
It's SEP 2019 and everything have changed, he wasn't around for the first 7 months of the child's live as he took up another job that he didn't get paid for but sat on the computer all day too do, then he was around after a serious talk but never off his phone, so not really there. Now the Baba only wants me and won't go to him.
I lost feelings along the way and everyday they seem to get less and less.
Now I'm starting to see other things, like his short temper towards her, not helping at all around the house, it's almost like he's worked all day now he doesn't have to do anything, while I juggle the Baba and everything else he sits and eats dinner that I have cooked.

I should also mention that my Baba was diagnosed with CP in Feb it's mild but she won't be walking for a while. So the extra hand would be helpful.

Yes I have spoke to him, multiple times and he helps for around a week and then it goes back to the way it was.

I feel it would be easier without him here, but I don't want to break up my babas family 👎🏻

I just Want to know should I give more time or any advice at all..
Thanks so much

you sound like you've got your head screwed on OP...having a child is a HUGE thing and you've been coping alone.

What sort of "job" was it that he had that he sat all day on a computer and then never got paid??

Is he working now? With actual wages?

If he's just at home, not working and not even being a good Dad, it's time to end it with him.

You want your baby to have a good role model for a Dad...not someone who is short tempered and does not earn any money.

Are you in rented housing or do you own? Who is on the lease if it's rented?

Many men agree to children knowing full well that they will be expecting the woman to do all the work. Unfortunately, ou have one of the many.

Time is not going to change him but if you carry on doing everything, there is no incentive for him to do anything.

Hey HennyPennyHorror thank you for your reply, I own my house I bought it before I met him. it was some sort of gaming job, coaching people on how to play the game. He is working now, in a job I got him.

I just think my Baba deserves more. Is that wrong?

Sorry but he sounds like a baby himself and you're running around doing everything for him.

He is working now, in a job I got him

See what I mean? I think you'd be better off with him out of the picture. Your baba won't notice the difference.

I just think my Baba deserves more. Is that wrong?
Nope - that is exactly how you should be thinking.
And take yourself into account as well.
You deserve more too!
Don't settle.
Stop cooking for him.
Stop washing for him.
Or shopping, or cleaning or tidying.
He needs to grow up and learn that adults have responsibilities.
You've enabled this up until now.
It's time for an ultimatum and you follow through the moment it goes to shit again.
You don't need him.
He's another manchild to look after.
You have enough on your plate.
He's been a cocklodger for long enough.
How much does he contribute to the bills?

hellsbellsmelons I still feel awful for knowing I'm going to hurt him to end it, think that's what is stopping me also he doesn't have a clue about Baba, what she eats or how to feed her etc so for him to take her away from me would kill me, she's my second skin 👎🏻
He pays some into the house, but not enough to help but I'm too independent I'd rather struggle than ask for money.
Another thing that's bugging me is he sold his car and got some money, all these packages from amazon and eBay are coming for himself, not one thing has been bought for her, I don't care about myself 👎🏻 but the other way I see it she needs nothing I get her something nearly everyday.

Thanks so much everyone for writing back it's good to talk about these with other people 😊

The relationship is dead, you know that. Your baby doesn't need to be around a deadbeat who snaps at her. I'm sure you'll be happier not having to see his annoying face every day and you know you can manage without him. It's a no brainer. Your baby can still see him, but you won't have to be in a relationship with him, hooray.

It's seems so easy, but I just don't know how to do it.. we haven't slept together in over 4 months and he's just getting on as if nothing is wrong, I've been so distant too and he still doesn't notice, I just don't like hurting people 👎🏻