Am I right to be upset?

[Quandryquandry]

Came home recently to find my house mysteriously clean and tidy. DH said he’d had a professional cleaner in as I hadn’t cleaned or tidied recently. When I had a meltdown about having a stranger I’d never met come into my house, rifle through and reorganise my possessions and wash my dirty underwear without my knowledge or consent and asked why he hadn’t at least let me know in advance he appeared shocked and said he thought he was helping me. What would others have felt?

I would have been absolutely over the moon to come home to this!

I’d have felt the same as you. I like to do my own cleaning and I’d hate someone else doing my washing. I’m sure he was trying to help in a weird way but why couldn’t he have helped himself if he knew you didn’t have time? Maybe he knows how much hard work it is keeping on top of it and couldn’t be bothered.

rifle through and reorganise my possessions and wash my dirty underwear

Weird that a cleaner would do your laundry tbh and I wouldn’t be happy with someone handling my smalls but I would be thrilled my house was clean and tidy.

Simon

He is doing something about himself taking responsibility for the mess by getting a cleaner, isn't he!

I'd be happy, the house is clean, I've not had to do it, he's paid for the cleaner, win win..

I'd have been absolutely delighted!!

I'd be absolutely thrilled. I have a cleaner and my house is still a state!

If someone touched my washing i would personally hunt them down and.......... My husband knows 'do not touch the washing.' I did have a cleaner once, but I prefer to do the cleaning myself.

I don't really believe all these people who are saying how happy they'd be: I doubt it very much, if it was meant as a criticism by their partner.

And the whole thing about him doing it as "helping" op - why the fuck is it seen as her job in the first place?

My partner and I have a cleaner. The same cleaner he had with his ex-wife.

She goes through drawers and reorganises cupboards. I’m happy with it. My partner suggested getting rid of her and I don’t want to. I hate cleaning cupboards and I’m terrible at organising anything.

I like that a stranger cleans up and the house is left to her standard. Nothing left out, everything tidied and packed away.

Really, having laundry done on the regular is really really basic. If you don’t do anything, at least do your laundry so you have clean clothes.

I would have been delighted, but not as a surprise.

I tidy before the cleaner comes because I don’t want her to judge me.

We have a cat and the cat gets everywhere.

It’s nice that when I do clean, it’s something like washing walls or or reorganising all my laundry/ironing. I don’t want to spend a day washing floors and cleaning bathrooms.

I still vacuum after the cat and so does my partner. We both clean, but it means if visitors came at any point the house would be presentable for company.

I wouldn’t want anyone doing my laundry though a I am very careful with how it is done. It bothers me when people don’t do it properly. And things don’t ironing properly if they aren’t washed properly and hung out to dry a certain way.

Wouldn't be without the lovely person who keeps our house sparkling clean. We keep it tidy , though, because otherwise how would they know whether things are kept ?

Don't understand how that clean up act could have worked. How do you know where things have been put away?

I would be thrilled 😁

I would be delighted, especially if he had organised it to happen every week.