My H had an emotional affair 16 years ago ( one sided on his part ) I discovered this .
I said in order for our relationship to survive he had to be open and honest about everything that had gone on . His ability to lie during this time was what hit me the most hard.
Alongside the EA he developed a friendship with a work colleague ( unbeknown to me ) . I never knew of this friendship .
7 years after he started this friendship , I had my DD ( it was at this point I discovered the EA). The EA affair subject had bought my DD gifts, which I binned immediately on discovery of the EA . Amongst these gifts was a baby blanket which H said had been bought by a work colleague .
It transpired a few years later that this blanket was from the colleague he had developed a friendship with ( who had left the company a few years beforehand ) . H had taken my DD to meet with this colleague and the blanket was gifted at this point .
It is only in the past several years he has mentioned this colleague and I had linked this blanket came from her . This friendship has never sat right with . Every time I see this blanket , it aroused suspicion in me and takes me back to the time I discovered the EA , including the horrible emotions .
I have questioned my husband several times of the nature of this friendship . I cannot accept that a friendship that was kept secret for 20 years is just a normal friendship . I have never met this woman , seen her or knew my H had continued this friendship despite me asking for him to be open and honest .
For the past 5 years this friendship has started to trouble me even more so ( I have no idea if he still meets with her , he says he doesn't ). Recently I noticed she had sponsored him a significantly higher amount of money for an event than others had on his LinkedIn page . This has stirred up those original emotions again , especially as our marriage is not in a good state. I asked my H to remove her from his LinkedIn page , as contact is still being made ( even if he says it is one sided). He says he has removed her .
I tidied my DD bed today and the blanket was under the covers . I have taken this blanket and hidden it . MyDD (16) will ask for it . I cannot bear to look at this blanket any longer ,it takes me back to a very low time in my life and keeps serving as a reminder of my Hs ability to have kept this friendship secret for most part of our marriage .
I feel in order for us to move forward in our marriage and for me to move forward , i have to dispose of this constant reminder that has eaten away at me for years . Every time I see the blanket it triggers me , I don't have the emotional strength to accept this thing in my home any longer .
Am I doing the right thing .