Feeling like running away

[Tbain0411]

Hi everyone.
I am a 46 year old woman, I have a 22 year old daughter, an 8 year old boy and 2 year old boy and my other half.
The problem is they are lazy and uncaring.
I feel like running away and never coming back, they moan constantly at me like everything in life is my fault.
The house has went to the dogs cos nothing gets cleaned or decorated but they are quite happy to sit back and watch me do it all.
My other half does work hard but as soon as he comes home he zones out in front of TV. My daughter works hard too, comes home goes straight to bed then she disappears all weekend, her room is an absolute tip and she does nothing to help around the place, I would close her room door and ignore the filth but she shares a room with my 8 year old after she moved out then back home so I had to partition big room to make 2 rooms and I have to walk through her filth everyday to go into my boys room. Whenever I ask them to help out they always have an excuse and an answer for everything. They also think because I'm home all day then I have lots of time on my hands and I should be doing everything.
My 8 year old lost his dad a year ago and has had some behaviour problems since, everything is a battle with him and my little one has hit the terrible twos so I'm run daft with him.
I have an underactive thyroid and fibromyalgia and I still have depression after the birth of my little one, I just feel so tired and down everyday fighting these constant battles.
Iv been trying for the last 4 years to get through to them but nothing ever changes, iv tried talking, crying, giving up for a few days, iv threatened them numerous times with eviction and at time iv went on a complete rampage screaming at everyone but nothing makes them change.
I feel stuck in the middle alone and I'm tired of being everything to everyone and also getting the flak when things go wrong.

I am 47 and can't even imagine having a 2 year old...they alone are so tiring!

I think you need to give them all a shock.

Pull all of your oldest daughter's things out of her room and put them in black bags.

Then get the room hoovered and tidied. It's not fair on your 8 year old to live like that at all.

Is there enough storage in the room for her though? Enough drawers and things for her clothing?

That’s a long time to have been parenting for OP, I can understand that’s difficult. Could you do something for you during the day whilst they’re out, perhaps swimming, meeting friends, voluntary work. You sound really unfulfilled.

I feel for you. You sound completely burned out. Have you got ANYBODY to support you? You sound really depressed- I would go to your gp? You are completely overwhelmed- things can be changed, but I think some therapy and space for you to vent would be good idea. It’s horrible feeling unheard, and the lowest on the list of priorities. Maybe just focus on the youngest and put in some boundaries with the rest. It all seems so hard when you are completely overwhelmed I know. Do you and your husband have a good relationship outside of this, because he sounds like he needs to step up!

Hi, thanks for replying. She has enough storage there is a large mirrored wardrobe built in to the wall on her side of the room and she has 2 other units as well. Her room has been a complete mess since she was a teenager but it didn't bother me so much before because it was her own room I just closed the door so I couldn't see it.

I have been on anti depressant from doctor for a year but they say it's time for me to come off them as they don't like you to be on them for longer than a year because of addiction. I don't have family around me, but I do phone my mum and vent to her and my friends are always working, one friend has 4 jobs and the other 3 as their kids are all 16 years old onwards.
I'm a bit off a home bird so I don't mind being in house with little one but I do mind being treated like a slave just because I am in the house.
It's sometimes silly things like there has been a bin bag lying in the hall for 4 days now after I cleared out old clothing and such I left it to see if anyone would put it in bin outside as they are in and out house all week long, it's still there in the hall and will be until I move it, to big things like decorating our whole bedroom, my partner argued with me last night cos I brought it up, he said you go do it whenever you want and I will keep an eye on little one