What would you think of this?

[Appymummy]

So the other morning I was using DH phone for something and saw a message from DH chiropractor. He had gone out of his way to text her (don't even know why he would have her direct number?!) to say thanks for the appointment and he forgot to mention that her hair looked nice the way she had it that day, and to enjoy her holiday and will see her in a few weeks for the next appointment. AIBU to think this is a little strange that he would go out of his way to say he liked the way she had her hair?!? Chiropractor was very professional and just said "thanks" basically!

Picsinred is spot on.

It’s a horrible realisation and this is one of my big fears. To realise the decent man you married turns out to be a creepy pervert chancer is a real betrayal. However the fact he will fly off the handle indicates there’s other issues at play. Be ready.

@picsinred
Spot on.

OP, knowledge is power.

Do NOT pretend you know.

Why on earth would you give him a heads up.

Get your affairs in order. Quietly.

Fyi, he has embarrassed himself at that practice. Creepy.

Screen shot the message so he can't delete and deny. He's a creepy fucker

My betting is he will do the TwentyEight12 approach and gaslight the hell out of you 'I was just complimenting her, fgs, can't a man even tell a woman that she looks nice without you jumping to the conclusion that he wants an affair, she looked a bit depressed so I thought I'd cheer her up' etc etc.

Creep.

Agree with @zapo

Thanks guys - I have had funny feeling for a while things were not quite right! Will start looking into things more and get my life sorted out for me and DC!

@twentyeight
I think she meant that the OP's dh will gaslight- saying that he was just innocently paying a compliment....

@Savingforarainyday

No I’m sorry. That isn’t on. It’s just not on.

Oh how pathetic! You need you have a serious talk...

@TwentyEight12 what's not on?

twentyeight Sorry, I wasn't clear. I wasn't insinuating that you* were gaslighting the OP, just that the OP's DH may well take your approach that a man can innocently appreciate the beauty of a woman, but that, in his case, it appears it would be gaslighting.

This is creepy. He's fishing for more.

If you dig around a bit OP I bet you'll uncover other instances where he's overstepped boundaries.

You deserve better

I have asked for the offending comment to be removed.

He's BU for seeing a chiropractor in the first place.

I only realised what a bunch of charlatans they are a few days ago when I listened to an episode of the Behind the Bastards podcast about its founder. I have to admit to not really understanding what it is before then.

And yes, the text is weird and creepy. But she did a normal polite reply so I'm sure there's nothing going on.

I very rarely comment on posts, especially relationship ones because mine is a shit show
But honestly op, I feel I just have to comment to let you know you deserve better!
This would destroy me, sounds dramatic but this is crossing the line and would be incredibly hard for me to deal with

I hope he doesn't get angry and gaslight you!

It's a really inappropriate text and the fact that you're used to him flying off the handle makes the situation even more suspicious.

On it's own, I would probably just think "trying it on with a random - yawn" but this sounds like a wider pattern of behaviour.

Do you want to say more about him "flying off the handle" etc?

I'd be sending another message back from his phone. 'hello Mr xs wife here. Just want to apologise for my pathetic husbands creepy and inappropriate behaviour.' make sure he sees it

Urgh no don't text the poor woman again!

Just quietly get your shit together so you can LTB.

Sending a second text is a terrible idea which would only embarrass the poor woman further. Completely oversteps the mark.

Woops I was only joking. Don't seriously text her. Poor woman. Your husband is a pathetic creep though. Sorry OP.

I wouldn't say a word to him about it at this point. Just sort things out so you're ok on your own and keep digging since you suspect him in general.

I think you're right - I'm not going to say anything yet, want to look into things a bit more first; don't want to upset the apple cart for something that hasn't or may not happen! In the meantime I will ensure I am financially stable (currently just started my own business!)