Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

FWB

5 replies

Braines · 15/09/2019 10:25

New account for anonymity.
Just some background, I dated my ex-DP for around a year in 2015, partly long distance. We didn't speak for 6 months or so after breaking up. After this, we started sleeping together - it was easier because we knew what the other liked.
We've tried a few times to make it work between us and it doesn't, usually on (ex)DP's part (military, constantly posted around the UK). We've been fwb since and now I'm really starting to catch feelings badly! I'd really like to make a go of it but after asking him he doesn't think we'd ever work. I've tried to break off the fwb aspect before but it doesn't stick! Any advice?

OP posts:

SparklyMagpie · 15/09/2019 11:33

He's told you it's not going to work with what you want. Its rubbish isn't it? You're only going to get hurt the longer it continues

I am in an FWB with my ex, we haven't ever really discussed whether we'd try again and at first I did struggle with feelings, but I'm very comfortable and happy now with the set up.
But basically nothing seems any different from when we were together as we still talk all day every day and have been out a couple of times to do nice things, so I'm happy with this.

But if he has told you giving it another go won't work, then I would really try and focus on moving on

Hope it all works out for you OP

ChangeItChild · 15/09/2019 11:41

You're wasting your time and feelings on him. End it and get yourself out there dating again. FWB works if neither if you have feelings, if you do, then it stops working.

MoreNiceCereal · 15/09/2019 11:46

Protect your heart, op. He's told you what he wants, and it's unlikely to change ime.

Fwb only works if it remains distant and casual.

Oysterbabe · 15/09/2019 11:47

All you're doing by sticking with this set up is setting yourself up for a lot of pain and ensuring you don't meet a longterm partner. End it.

Notcoolmum · 15/09/2019 11:51

For FwB to work both parties need to on the same page. That isn't the case here. He wants to keep the arrangement casual, and you want to use the situation as a spring board back into a relationship.

I would delete his number and go no contact. Read Mr unavailable and the fallback girl and look to get yourself into a place where you accept a relationship that matches your worth.

Flip