How important do you think it is to have good relations with co workers? I'm struggling in my new job - is it me? :(

[Leapoffaith00]

Newly qualified mental health nurse. I hated my training and kept going hoping I would feel differently when working. I'm finding out that, I just don't like me when I'm a nurse. Went into it because I had compassion and cared, came out not liking me. Being in mental health impacts on my own. I don't have a choice so trying to give it some time.
My first position was in a secure unit, lasted weeks. I hated it. I felt I was becoming unwell mentally listening to their thoughts etc. I couldn't cope. Now in older adults. I'm only part time so I was worried about 'fitting in' anyway. On my first day nobody had a plan as such, nobody was welcoming as I sat at an empty desk for most of the day. I managed to find the kitchen (as I didn't fancy warm sandwiches) and toilet myself. I thought, right my second will be better. They will give me pass codes, internet access, a plan, direction and show me where my desk will be. So i confidently went in - 2 out of about 15 said good morning. Again asked lots of questions about my role hoping to gain some guidance. Sat alone to eat my lunch. 5pm I left and just cried.
Patient contact makes me sad and what I was hoping for throughout my training was to work with a great team, a team that will then outway the sadness I feel when seeing patients. I don't want to go back. I'm so unhappy. I'm a single parent with a mortgage, this is what I have to continue with.
I'm not sure if I'm better working alone?! Maybe it's me?! I have an opportunity to completely leave nursing and become a mentor in higher education (this is working alone). Meaning I am letting all my family down as they think I will be a great nurse.

I've been under the MH crisis team in the past. What I can say from seeing the nurses etc who have helped me is that I think you have to be a certain type of person to cope with MH work. I can imagine that you spend all your time listening to absolutely heartbreaking tales of broken lives. Patients who are under your care will what to talk to you about distressing tales of utter desperation. I couldn't do it.
You have to look after your own MH so that you can be an awesome parent to your DC. If you find that working in MH has such a negative effect on your own health then there is absolutely no shame in looking at other options.

Did you even want to do nursing?

One thing I can recommend is not to wait around for people to show you things or include you.

The 2 out of 15 people who said hello, did you say Hello first or wait for them to say it first?

When you go in, you say hello to people first. If you haven't met them yet, introduce yourself, chat for a minute.

At lunch, ask to join someone else or a group. as in, do you mind if I sit with you? Then get to know them.

Get on with your tasks and if you find you don't have something to do, ask someone if they need any help as you've got a few minutes.

Spend a few minutes here and there, getting to know your workmates.

I’d give it a bit of time until you’ve actually got a feel for what the job entails and whether you enjoy it or not. It’s never gonna be sustainable to do a job you don’t like purely because you hope that your coworkers will be amazing enough to outweigh it.

I take the approach I’m there to do a job and if I have positive relationships with coworkers that’s a nice bonus, but how I was received on the first couple days certainly wouldn’t be a factor making me consider quitting already.

If I’d had that kinda disorganised welcome and been left to my own devices for a couple days I’d take it as time to introduce myself to everyone, get my login sorted, find which online mandatory training I could do, explore the building a bit and ask if there’s anyone I could shadow. You’re a qualified professional now, take a bit of ownership over you work. Don’t just go in and sit at a desk upset because not enough people greeted you like it’s your first Saturday job in a shop lol.

Didn’t you go into nursing to help people?

I wanted to make a difference. I didn't have a great upbringing and suffered when I was younger with my mental health. Working in mental health is different to what I expected. It is sad. It gets me down. Maybe I'm not cut out to b a 'professional'.
I have introduced myself to everyone. I have asked everyone if there is anything I need to do. I was planed off to different people who disappeared. I asked about my log in etc and they forgot so I reminded them and also asked about training on the computer.

I would write down a list of the things I needed, like the log in, and ask how you arrange for things to be set up. You have a line manager I imagine. It is normal to feel out of your depth when starting a new job but being proactive on the getting yourself settled in front should help you remove some of the obstacles. It sounds like you haven't had a formal induction.

I would not give up straightaway though. You were not unreasonable to imagine the job would be hard but that the team 'spirit' would be supportive and positive and balance things out, but as PP has said in the long term that isn't necessarily sustainable. You went into MH nursing to make a difference but making a difference and actually seeing the results may be a while coming. Is there any counselling or support service available to you provided by your employer? If so I would you think about discussing it with someone in real life?