Partners female friend

[LILmam128]

I've been seeing someone for 3 months now and have found out recently that he has a female best friend that really likes him. She's siemone he previously worked with but still see's frequently. Yesterday I asked if they'd slept together and he said that they have before and now I'm not sure how I feel about it.

I found out as she'd sent a text to him saying 'you don't want a girl that has baggage' implying my daughter. I think if she had been nice about the situation I would be feeling differently but the comments aren't very polite.

He's made it very clear that he likes me a lot and I have no doubt that there's nothing between them but I don't know, it still makes me feel a bit uncomfortable the fact that she's trying to put him off me, as well as their history.

Would others be put off by this?

"Rubbing her nose in it?"
She wants him then. And she wants you out of the picture.
That's one battle is let her win. Get rid.

I wouldn't be happy with this. You're still so early into the relationship that I would tell him you don't have time for all of the drama. I'd be ending it.

If she was just a friend, fine, but clearly she wants more and I couldn't be bothered with that.

She'll only make it harder for you as you become more invested.

If he likes you enough, he'll distance himself from her until she's over him romantically.

It's simple. Dump him.

He's playing games. He wants you both fighting over him and feel like he's the alpha male.

He's not worth it. Plus he's got baggage in the form of an ex who won't let go and he won't let go either. Run far away before you end up tied to him in some way.

I'd call it a day.
Leave them both to it.
they deserve each other.

He's using you to keep her where he wants her. The primary relationship is with her. You'll be collateral damage. Bin him before you get pregnant.

I guess something to think about is if they're friends and he previously told her he couldn't imagine being with someone with a kid, that comment wouldn't have occured in isolation so they probably have discussed things like this in depth.

However from the limited information we have it's pretty weird that he told you so early on and is now saying that she likes him too, it's quite a common tactic that manipulators use, triangulation, trying to make women think they are in competition with other women, or that they're in high demand, or that this woman said this and that to me and is mad about me, which helps them to get attention, create jealousy and so on, it can also leave their partners worrying that if they don't act right that the other woman is just waiting in the wings or they have someone to run back to when times are tough, leaving them worrying about confronting their partner about anything.

Of course it may be innocent, but please be aware that this could potentially be a red flag!

Oh and also bare in mind that if he is using the triangulation tactic, it might be her that is the original woman that he's doing it on, and using you as the other or new woman to play with her emotions!

Thanks for the advice, definately going to take a step back and see what happens before feelings are involved!

He talks about his friends a lot in general, males included, so he hasn't targeted this one at all, it's just one that has obviously thrown me out a bit as this one likes him and has made the comments etc.

I've been in a situation like this before though where there has been jealousy with friends and I don't want it again. However saying that, he's been pushing for things a lot more than me and has shown his interest so I do think he is interested and I don't particularly think there's anything between them as he's talked about a lot of other female friends he has as well. He just seems to mention friends a lot in conversation, but as I said it's both sexes so I'd say that's just how he is. But regardless, the comments are an issue if he was to continue their friendship. It seems that his other friends have been quote encouraging!

The ex is clearly not over you bf and is trying to alienate him from you.

Don't get jealous at least don't show it

Don't badmouth her. Smile sweetly and be your nicest self.

He sounds over her, so don't go making a scene or doing the jealous act and driving him away.

Yes, she's a jealous **

I couldn't be arsed to deal with that after only 3 months. She's his baggage.