Should I tell him?

[LittleLadyFooFoo]

Thanks for reading.
My partner (soon to be husband) of 4 years has always been loving and caring.
Recently his best friend split up from his girlfriend and I overheard a conversation with my partner and him last week. I was in the bedroom. The walls are thin! It seems from the conversation the friend had been to a massage parlour and they were laughing and giggling about it. I didn’t say anything.
Last night I did something I’ve never done and looked at my partner’s phone. There was a message from an escort to him with her services and prices. He had also made a call to another parlour (I googled the number).
I feel awful for looking at his phone but I feel I need to confront him as I can’t accept this behaviour.
If anyone has advice on how to approach him, I’d welcome your support. TIA

Not good, but I love how strong you are.

Not good, but I love how strong you are.

me too OP

He's nipped out so I went to his car for a look. Found a post it note with a phone number. Yet again, another escort service!

Ugh, it's just shit piled on shit isn't it, so sorry OP

Christ he's busy

We’re going food shopping when he gets back from garage. I’m going to drive and stop the car in The supermarket car park and confront him. Watch this space!

Oh fuck I'm so sorry OP what a bastard. Not only is it disrespectful to you, it's gross behaviour. If you need to vent afterwards we are all here for a hand hold!

Is just pack his bags and ask him to leave. End of.

I second pp.. Have his stuff packed for when he gets back. There's cheating on you, and then there's paying to cheat on you.. What a pig! You deserve so much better

I don't think I'd bother confronting him. I'd just tell him to leave.

The kids are all here, including his 16 year old daughter. My two are younger. I don’t want them involved. It’s best I go somewhere neutral to tell him. Thanks again everyone. I needed support x

Good luck OP! It's better you found out now than after the wedding!

You have had a very lucky escape. This is very distressing but at least you have found out about it before the wedding.
I hate to have to say this but if he has been visiting 'escorts' you really need to get yourself tested.

You're so strong. Good luck just think of your kids and how lucky you found out now and not after the wedding xx

So sorry

It’s done! I drove to car park and said I had something to tell him. I said “Why have you been calling escorts?”. He fell quiet, then said he hadn’t followed through. He said he was curious as his friend had been. He offered to show me his phone to say he’d only done it for the first time this week (after he spoke to his friend about his experience last weekend). However, I said that whether or not he followed through, the intent was still there and I could no longer trust him. So I’ve dropped him at the house to collect some things and I’ve come to the supermarket. I’m craving a McDonalds so might go have one to kill some time. My kids are with their dad. I told him what had happened and he couldn’t believe my partner was capable (and too mean) but I suppose it just goes to show!
I feel rubbish - sad and angry. I am so thankful for you all listening and offering advice x

You have done so well! Get yourself a lovely MacDonalds and look after yourself!

Gosh bless you darling,

What a shitty thing for someone to do to someone else.

You did the right thing though. Youd be forever questioning whether he would one day actually follow through.

Go have that Maccys and enjoy every bite!

OP, well done. You won't feel rubbish for long.

You have shown him, and your children if you choose to pass on any details, which I would given they are teenagers, your self worth.

Enjoy your Macdonalds.

Apologies if your children are too young for explanation, I've just re-read op.

But you've absolutely done the right thing, regarding him and Macdonalds.

So sorry OP, very disappointing for you.
You must feel so hope.

You are truly to be admired for having such self respect.

There is no point in wasting time with someone whom you can't trust.

Continued strength and💐

well done OP

Thanks everyone. My children are 12 and 15. I’ll give them an abridged version. Just heading to McD’s now. I’ve not eaten for two days worrying and now I’m starving!
I’ve done the right thing for sure. I promised myself last time my self respect matters most. I’ve got a busy professional job which will keep me busy and my family and friends will rally round. I need to have a think about how I keep in touch with his daughter as we became close x

Well done OP.

Hats off to you for how level headed and quickly you dealt with this. It won't be easy but you have done the correct thing putting yourself first as you deserve better than this.