Do i reply?

[Charlies1]

Long story short my fiance left me nearly 3 weeks ago saying he needed time and space to sort his head out and that he had fallen out of love with me. It ripped me apart as it was so completely out of nowhere. Anyway.... We have 2 girls together, ages 2 and a half and 10 months. At first I did what i know shouldnt have and asked him to give it another go. He said he wasnt prepared to talk about it right now and that we should only talk about the kids for now. So we spoke, well text, on monday about DD1, nothing on tuesday and then he text wednesday morning saying he hoped DD1 had a good day at preschool and that DD2 gave me abit of a break. I didnt reply and have no contact with him since. So this morning hes text asking how DD1s week was, how both girls are doing and how i am. This is the first time since the break up that hes actually asked me how im doing. Am i reading too much into this because i want him back? Is he starting to think he made a mistake? Do i continue with no contact or reply? How do i reply? I dont want to come across as bitter and petty by ignoring his questions about our girls but i also want to give him the space he asked for in hopes we can still work things out. Please help!!

I am wondering if your fiancé actually met someone else and is keeping you hanging accordingly whilst deciding between you and she. I would not have him back anyway, he decided to leave of his own accord. You are too good for him.

I would look into formalise all and any contact arrangements re your children rather than relying on an informal arrangements. Contacting the CMS now re a maintenance claim for his children is something I would do as well.

Are you getting maintenance? I think you should be prepared that another woman might come out of the woodwork.

Has he seen his children in the last 3 weeks?

He’s sounds dreadful- no I wouldn’t answer his questions about you, because you need to distance yourself from him. He’s not a good partner or dad.

So he's decided to check out of parental duties, let alone being in a relationship with you. That's crap. I wouldn't take that "how are you" part to heart to be honest- you need to protect yourself for now. Keep it to talk about the kid's only - it may be as pp has said he's currently with someone else and is stringing you along just in case the grass isn't actually greener. That aside, the fact he doesn't actually seem to have any desire to even see his children is disgusting.

Sounds like he has someone else and is keeping you stringing along in case it doesn't work out with her. Do you know where he's staying?

I'd reply saying you need a break and kids are missing him. Tell him he needs to take kids next weekend Fri-Sun and then at least every other weekend as part of his responsibility to his kids but also to give you time to get your head around his choices/your future.
Then get with some friends and ask them to keep you busy.
Actions have consequences and he needs to step up. This won't push him away.. I know its hard and all you want is everything to be like it was but... Don't let him walk all over you.. He will given the chance

@AttilaTheMeerkat

Agree!!

He probably did have his head turned and interested in someone else.
He disappeared without a thought about his DC or you.

Agreeing with his contact meaning he wants to string you along in case it doesn't work out with the new woman.

Answer no personal questions at all.

Like @happytoday73 has said, arrange for him to take the DC, Fri - Sun and he needs to start paying maint for them.

Do not say how you are. Answer only about the children and ask him when he would like to discuss his contact with them.

I would just talk about the kids for now, he has no right to ask how you are, he wasn't bothered when he upped and left you with his 2 kids, I hate how men think they can just walk away and leave the mothers to raise the children alone

So 'he needed time and space to sort his head out', did he? What time and space are you getting to process his leaving? He's left you with sole care of your girls (and probably a bit worried about bills, money, childcare etc) and swanned off because he needs 'time and space'?

I'd bin him off for that bit of selfishness alone. Has he offered to take the girls so you get some 'space'? I agree that he's had his head turned and wants to play at the life of a single man again.

Text him strictly, only, about your DD's. Do not even mention yourself or how you are feeling, it's none of his business any more. If he really is just wanting some 'space', your self-contained ability to manage without him will show that you are a person to reckon with, and if he's with someone else you haven't lost any dignity.

I would keep dignified for now. No one ever came back to a begging partner.

I'd be factual about the dc, text a few lines to tell him they are ok etc, nothing too long winded and i'd completely ignore his question about you.

I'd also start to think about finances and CM. Go and see a solicitor and find out what you need to do.

I would just not reply. If he texts again then I would respond to that and make an excuse like oh sorry I thought I replied to your text. If you can trust him w the dc I would suggest he have them for the weekend so you can clear your head. Then go out w friends and enjoy 😀 it’s very possible he met someone else. Don’t wait around for him. If he wants to stay in the relationship. Make him work for it. Men love a challenge.

Is he seeing the children? Just stick to answering about them.
I would put serious money on there being another woman.