Working for parents. Advice please!!!

[Jellyfish12]

Hello,

I'm not sure whether I am posting this in the correct place as, it merges into work related and pregnancy issues too!

I have worked for my parents company for 8 years and it hasn't really been easy but, I love my job and couldn't imagine being anywhere else.

A lot of people think that I must reap the benefits of working for DM and DF but, it is the absolute opposite. They try so hard not to show me any favouritism, that they actually end up treating me unfairly a lot of the time.

I started off in one department and (quite rightly) had an interview with the department manager at the time, just like everyone else, before earning my place. I then, after 1.5 years applied for a job in another department and interviewed (like everyone else) with the department manager before getting the job.

After 6 years of service, I was told I could be 'trial supervisor' of the department. This meant that I would have responsibility over other members off staff and their workload but, I wouldn't be paid any more money. (I note, no other department managers had to endure an unpaid trial, before earning their promotion)

After 7 years of service, my 'trial' paid off as, my line manager (we will call her X for the purpose of the story) was moved to a new role due to incompetency (I know this because, probably inappropriately, this was disclosed to me by DM and DF) and I was promoted to department manager.

DF is CEO
DM is a Director
The Managing Director is unrelated to me and none of the other 7 department managers are related to me.

DF held review meetings with all department managers about 3 weeks ago. During my meeting, he asked who my line manager was. I advised that I wasn't exactly sure because, it was a bit of a grey area since my promotion. I had asked DM in the past and she told me it was X. However, I told DF that I disputed this as, all other 7 department managers answer directly to the MD. So, why was I any different. DF advised that he would clarify this for me.

About a week ago, I emailed DF and asked him if he had concluded who my line manager was. He replied "It is X, then DM, then MD smile"

I was pretty fuming as, this means that at 26 years of age and 8 years service, it seems I am still a long way off any progression in the company. The only reason I didn't react or dispute this, is because, of my imminent leave.

Next issue...

I receive a quarterly company profit share. As do all department managers. I have asked a few times about my rights to receive this whilst I am off and up until this morning, was yet to receive clarification on this.

I emailed DM and said

Hello, In my review, I discussed profit share with DF and he said as it is factored when calculated average wage, it is included in my mat pay. I explained that is only for first 6 weeks and then, I get fixed amount of 140 per month as SMP and he said oh well if that is how it is but, I will ask mum. Don’t know if he mentioned? I looked it up and as profit share isn’t classed as performance related, it said it will be in contract/up to company whether they pay but, I understand if you choose not to pay me it. Just wanted to check as, I assume it isn’t in contract but, I haven’t actually checked! xx

She replied

It is £148.68 per week not per month.
The first 6 weeks will be paid on your average earnings from your last 13 weeks worked so will include your profit share in that figure.

I replied

Sorry, I meant per week! I know that already. I am asking about the rest of the time I am off x

She replied

No sorry profit share wont be paid when you are on maternity – but you will benefit from getting profit share included in your first 6 weeks cos you wouldn’t earn that much if you were just working normally.

I have just checked Citizens Advice website and it said If your bonus is based on company profits, you should get your full bonus.

So sorry for the extremely long story, just wanted to give the full picture!!!

Should I dispute this with DM and DF and/or should I contact citizens advice?

DP told me to stop being so soft as, if they weren't family, I would be disputing. It is so difficult though because, I have always struggled with my family (I have one DS also) because, being the youngest, I get a lot of grief and even DP gets it in the neck at times. I get treated like a child a lot and DS (who doesn't work for the company) gets a lot more respect than I do.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

I would contact ACAS regarding your employment situation as they could give you more guidance here.

I would also reconsider the whole idea of working in your parents company because of boundaries being blurred by all parties here. Looking for another job is something I would look at going forward.

Thank you very much for your reply and advice, AttilaTheMeerkat! I think you are correct.

I think I may need to reconsider where I work after my leave but, I worry that could cause a more permanent rift between us and my parents

Tbh they have created this dynamic. It’s not your fault they are rubbish employers or for that matter not so seemingly great on the parenting front either.

Spread your wings, you are an adult and you do not need their approval. Boundaries here need to be reestablished.

Thanks Attila, DP is always telling me I try to hard to obtain their approval!

What I find confusing is, in my review meeting, DF asked where I wanted to be in the company, eventually. I said I quite like the thought of doing a similar role to DM but, I would like to be involved in the Accounts side (my current department) too because, that is what I enjoy. He said 'What about Financial Director? Is that something you would be interested in?' Which, possibly inadvertently, gave me false hope as, his latter e-mail regarding the hierarchy above me made it clear that I had a lot more glass ceilings to break through before I reach that sort of level

I would look for employment elsewhere , stating you need more experience of different work environments, too close to family can be claustrophobic and it's good to have some distance

Thanks @fatfluffycushion, I appreciate your response and advice!

In careers these days its often the case that to progress up inside a company you are better to leave the company for a few years and then come back at the higher level, rather than try to break all the glass ceilings.

That way, you (and parents) have an external measure of your ability, worth and salary expectations.

If you are just "in accounts" then I would guess you are quite a long way from Finance Director, but if you have supervision experience then moving out would be just the right kind of step up.

Work somewhere else, make a claim against the company for the bonus, limit your contact with your parents. Why put yourself through this?

You need to stand up for yourself - no one else will x

You're having their grandchild?
Please anyone correct me if I'm wrong

@Monty27, I know... DP is angry that they are not paying the profit share and wants me to take it further. I don't want to fall out with anyone or hurt them for going 'behind their back'.

I emailed Citizens Advice (mostly out of curiosity tbh) and they said;

When you go on maternity leave you should retain all your employee rights and benefits except for remuneration (pay). What counts as remuneration can be complex but our information says that if your bonus is based on company profits (i.e. a profit share) then you should receive this whilst on maternity leave. If you don't get paid your profit share this may be an unlawful deduction of wages, and may also be maternity discrimination. However, you may wish to take advice before taking action as further investigation would be needed to check that you are definitely entitled to be paid the profit share.

Here's the issue...

I checked the offer letter I received for my promotion which details the higher wage and profit share. The wording is very clever (however incorrect it may be) and I think, means I would not be entitled to receive the profit share when on maternity leave.

It says;

Your wage will increase to £x per annum and you will receive a quarterly, performance related, profit share as detailed below.

Thus, I think that even if I did have the balls to escalate this, the wording of 'performance related' would void any chance of me getting anywhere with it.

I imagine this is their wording of choice for all letters to allow them to revoke this benefit at any time.

The profit share would make approximately £8,000 difference to my wage this year which would be hugely helpful with the new baby and only DPs wage + SMP. However, if they wouldn't do it for someone else then, I suppose I am being treated fairly as an employee? But, unfairly as a DD?

Sorry if I have caused any confusion - username changed from Jellyfish12 to Dontbsicily!

It may be the case that your parents have had no real compunction about treating you poorly as both their daughter and their employee in the family firm.

I would as mentioned before consider speaking to ACAS about this matter.

They've got you over a barrel as you're going on maternity leave.
How awful for you OP. I don't know how you can get the upper hand but I hope you find a way.
In any case it looks like this relationship has soured on many levels.

Thanks @Monty27 and @AttilaTheMeerkat, really appreciate your replies.

I think it is what it is and I just need to leave it now, sadly. Will update if any changes!