Think this feels like a safe place...name changed just in case.
Previously in an abusive relationship, everything at the time felt pretty much helpless and hopeless. Unfortunately I come from a messy background alcoholic mother and I can say it now but I couldn’t see it then a very disfunctional family and family members, I met my then partner moved away and started my own family, got in touch with my family again who were great to begin with extremely supportive with my first child all though at times it did feel controlling, fast forward a few years later I had my second child and my family members immediately became abusive in every sense they were only interested in one child and not the other and they were also able to control father of my children..I pulled away for my own sanity and my children’s safety but it seems out of the frying pan into the fire, although with a twist my family members had teamed up with the children’s father and the abuse continued, unfortunately we had SS involvement to this day I still live with that shame, my family used this as a way to vent, awful stories about me, huge investigations and again the instigation of physical abuse if I did not stop talking, it became to much my first child decided to move out and live with my family instead again I felt helpless, worthless and weak...fast forward I’ve been slowly rebuilding my life along with my second child, my family and father of the children have acted as a barrier to prevent my child and I from having a relationship always reminding me they can do it again and suggestions of what will happen and what they will do...I’m now isolated from external family members as my immediate family members along with the children’s father have been telling all and I do mean all and sundry about my involvement with the SS and have laughed and joked about and have now created a take sides barrier as I am still deeply ashamed that I could not manage the situation quietly I do not speak about it or speak out for fear of reprisal attacks...recently what I thought was a close friend of my mines has recently struck a friendship with my immediate family members her version was she kept bumping into them and got talking with them to find out what the story is that they have been putting around about me, I really didn’t want to know when she told me the story as, as expected it’s a wild and nasty story...this friend recently experienced a bereavement of a close family member so she reached out to let me know I immediately responded back only to be told in not so many words thank you but we can no longer be friends...nothing I can do about anything just really wanted a safe place to vent.