So current situation ...
my ex got our daughter a phone last year (she was 10) he pays the contract every month. Every time she plays up, the threat is always “I’m taking your phone away as you have no respect” bla bla ...
So ex came over from work today, we have a school meeting to attend. As he came in, he began shouting at our DD that he’d called her and she cut him off and didnt want to talk.
His reply ... “I’m your dad and if I tell you to answer the phone then you answer the phone”.. lord behold he’s told her he’s cutting her phone contract. They then both start arguing, he begins swearing and tells her just to “shut up”. My daughter continued to fight her corner (my bad habits of being overly defensive) and told him she doesn’t want to talk to him therefore she shouldn’t have to.
ExP then goes on to say it’s my fault the kids have no respect for him as I let them get away with everything. And tries to justify that he’s in the right and I’m just the parent that lets them get away with everything, too soft and teach our dd’s It’s ok to not have respect for anyone as I had a shit relationship with my dad..
BUT I had no respect for my dad because of the way he spoke to me, berated me, overly authoritative, abusive and a bully. I tried to explain to ex that although I understand he’s clearly hurt our daughter doesn’t want to just have small talk over the phone, he also shouldn’t shout and threaten her constantly with taking her phone away and use abusive language.
He’s 30, she’s 11.
I will add, my children do not talk to me like it. I in turn have healthy communication with my DD’s as I SPEAK to them with respect. They also are kind and respectful children towards others, just not their dad.
So please untangle .. am I just a shit parent or what?