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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Shall I just end this ?

4 replies

French189 · 11/09/2019 21:20

Both late 20s, unexpectedly met and fell for each other before he was leaving. Had 10 dates in 1 month and we liked each other a lot.
The day he left, he told me he would let me know as soon as he was coming back and that he couldn't wait already.
He said at the very most 9 months but potentially earlier.
It's been 10 days and he's still texted me every day and been affectionate.
But I honestly have no idea if I can do this. I'm able to go out there for a month, but no longer due to UK commitments.
I'm hoping to go for a month around xmas but cannot plan anything until we know where he will be, if he gets a job and if he actually is staying. But we have said we can sort something out..
Some friends have said to leave it and see when he gets back, just be friends, open relationship etc.
Sadly I have massively fallen for this guy and it will be either a relationship or nothing for me.
I'm already finding it hard and it's only been 10 days. I just do not have the savings to up sticks and leave, and I still have to pay for my home in the UK.
I'm very tempted to just end it now to avoid getting hurt when he ends up meeting someone else. I have lived abroad but never done the whole backpacking hostel thing and i've got all sorts of images in my mind.
I have no idea what to do, if I knew he were coming back in say 2 months for example, it'd be absolutely fine. But I cant go on like this every day for longer.
Really dont want to lose him.

OP posts:
Hannah021 · 11/09/2019 21:46

hmm why did you commit to him if he's leaving for 9 months when you guys have only been dating for just a month! What if you don't like him when you get to know him better!?

I don't think it's wise to be alone for 9 months for someone you've only just met. But I wouldn't just end it like that unless I find someone worth my time.

Secondsight · 11/09/2019 22:55

Go out enjoy yourself put him on the back burner. It was your choice to fall massively in love. The more you get on with life the more attractive you'll be to him when he gets back. Does he feel the same way?

MMmomDD · 11/09/2019 23:29

You keep making different posts about this guy going to Australia.
And get the same advice all the time.
It’s still the same this time.
Stay in contact as friends, if you can manage it. Or cut contact while he is away.
Reconnect when he comes back. If you both are free.
There isn’t any magical advice here.

whattodo12345 · 11/09/2019 23:33

Don't wait for him!

I was in exactly your position. Waited for him for 6 months....was hard....we spoke everyday all day.....

He got back and then I found out he had been cheating on me and had basically another girlfriend while over there!

Please dont make the same mistake I did....I would do anything to go back to the start and not wait!!

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