Husband and job

[Hodg84]

My husband had depression last October and had to wait until April till he could look for a job. He has had a few days work on supply as a teacher and had a 6 week block. He has done nothing over the summer. I feel so anxious about money and our child. He just says something will come along. I suggested working in a supermarket in the evenings but he wasn’t happy. I find it really hard and is affecting me mentally. I feel it’s always down to me. He went back to uni 4 years ago to become a teacher and I supported our family through that. I feel sad and I just want better. I work full time and when I had outlet child I could only have 4 months of due to me being the higher earner. I think I am jealous he is off and I am slogging it out at work. Sorry for the rant. Thank you

Hi op. Sorry your having a tough time. Is your husbands depression linked to or triggered by teaching? Also what was his work history like before he went to uni? Whats the longest he held a job down?

Why does he have to wait to October to find another job?

It doesn't sound like he (or you either) are suited to teaching. These ddays it seems to be more about form filling, box ticking, beauracracy - not so much about kids needs.

He worked for 12 years in the same job before uni. I always said he should become a teacher but he told me life would be better. It’s not 😩

Ok hes had a strong track record in work before teaching thats fantastic. 4 months maternity leave is really really tough.

I just want him to find a job. I think once he has one he will find a better one. I just keep feeling sick and anxious. I am worried he won’t find anything. He says he applies for 2/3 a day but never heard anything. 🙄😩
If he had a job and went out to work everyday it makes me happier. I know that sounds weird but in a few weeks I will have been living like this for a year. When I mention anything he just says that’s in the past and he can’t change it but I feel he could change it by getting a job now. He also says things like well when I was a child I had nothing when I want to do things. He never went on holiday or was allowed the in toys because his mum never worked. I just feel he is being selfish because he wants to be well but now I feel ill but he can’t see it. I feel sorry for our child we never do anything because we don’t have any money. 😭

Teaching is a high stress profession, also if he’s a teacher of a particular subject then it may be harder for him to find a job v’s a primary school teacher. If he’s applying to jobs daily then he’s doing what he can. I understand the financial implications and if push comes to shove then I am sure he would take a different job. I can understand though that he would rather do the job he’s worked so hard to train for. Looking abroad is another option as lots of teachers like to work in international schools. Does your DH look after your child during the day?

Firstly, teaching is a massively stressful job. Was it this which triggered his depression? If so, I can understand why he's not keen on going back.

But... you're right. He has to do SOMETHING.

What sort of jobs is he applying for? Does he even get to interview stage (is he actually really applying for them or just telling you that?).

Could he go back to the job he had before uni?

Tell him he's giving your DC a really poor example. A marriage should be two people working as a team, not you carrying him all the time.