Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

Am I jealous?

10 replies

Bubbly5 · 11/09/2019 14:41

I have been with my new partner almost 1 yr.we dont live together as yet and we both have grown up children.i feel hes never got time for me and puts his family before me.we both work and weekends are the only time we have together but he would drop any plans with me to be with his kids.do I have an issue or is this normal or am i just being over dramatic????

OP posts:

Kitty1184 · 11/09/2019 14:47

Of course his children should come first. I should hope yours do too.

SherbetSaucer · 11/09/2019 15:08

Adult children don’t need to come first!! If they have their own lives and he’s still dropping you and cancelling plans last minute then I don’t consider that acceptable. It’s disrespectful. If he has plans with you he should honour them and be consistent. Sounds like you could do a lot better to be honest!

thecatneuterer · 11/09/2019 15:11

No it's not normal. It's shit and he obviously isn't that invested in your relationship. And of course adult children shouldn't get in the way of your time together unless it's some sort of emergency.

Mostlyhappy4 · 11/09/2019 15:15

Yes, I think dropping you if he gets a chance to see his adult children is rude and inconsiderate. Despite first response, you're not saying his children should not come first, you're saying that as they are adults then he should be capable of making plans to see them outside of times he arranges to see you (or together if that works for everyone). I would think he isn't being fair...I think I would give him a chance to change his ways if you really like him then see if he can get it together.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 11/09/2019 15:17

It's normal, kids will always come first especially if they don't live with him. If he has chance for an extra few hrs or a day he'll take it. I'd be a bit if he didn't tbh

HollowTalk · 11/09/2019 15:17

There doesn't seem much point in staying with him, does there?

SherbetSaucer · 11/09/2019 15:24

It's normal, kids will always come first especially if they don't live with him. If he has chance for an extra few hrs or a day he'll take it. I'd be a bit hmm if he didn't tbh

But they’re adults!! Likely with their own lives and relationships. It’s not like he has 10 year olds!

MyCatHatesEverybody · 11/09/2019 15:27

He's being rude and inconsiderate.

Windmillwhirl · 11/09/2019 15:31

Yep, agree it's rude. He doesn't sound that invested in the relationship.

ComtesseDeSpair · 11/09/2019 15:51

How often does this happen and how often does he usually see his children otherwise? If he sees them regularly and is abandoning plans most weekends to spend extra time with them then that’s rude and unacceptable. But if he rarely sees them and a small handful of times they’ve got in touch in a “hey dad, we’re in the area, want to meet?” sort of way then that’s a bit more understandable I think.

Have you met them? Why not suggest you go with him to see them? As adult children and after more than a year in a presumably exclusive relationship I’d think this was pretty normal.

Flip