His low mood & my triggers

[CoconutGal]

I’ve been seeing this lovely guy for 4 months & things have been going well. We’re still in the getting to know eachother stage & it’s always difficult when there’s a lot of background on the both of us individually that’s either difficult to explain or not pleasant to discuss. Anyway, we met up yesterday & he told me he’s feeling really low, we talked about it a little & then went to bed. He’s prone to night terrors & had a terror last night which I can handle no problem & we talked again afterwards. However I’m today struggling with how to help him. We went out shopping this morning & in return he’s been in bed since. We don’t get a lot of time together & id really like to help him & go out & do things but I feel like we’re just existing right now in the same building & it’s setting off my own triggers.

I’m not sure where to go from here & right now don’t feel like I’m helping. I feel like I’m making things worse.

Hate to sound harsh - but I don't think I would continue on this basis. Where does it stop being a relationship and start being co-dependency.

You mention your own triggers. I would say stay single and work on your own mental health first before starting another relationship.

After 4 months are you living together? Assuming your not, but leave him to it and consider if this is the ideal relationship for you.

After 4 months fuck that. I'd tell him you don't seem to be working as a couple and move on.

It's not your responsibility to help him. It's his responsibility to help himself. He doesn't want to right now for whatever reason. I know it's hard, but I think you need to consider the future of the relationship. If it's this much hard work after four months, where do you see the relationship realistically being in 1, 5 or 10 years?