I’ve been seeing him for almost a year, we’re both late 40s, he’s divorced and I’m on the way to being, one older child each.
I was quite hesitant in the beginning, I liked him but was unsure about getting into something too serious. He on the other hand says he fell for me on our first date, asked me to be exclusive after the second and told me he loved me a few months later. He was romantic, generous, great fun, our sex life was good, I found we had loads in common and before long I’d fallen for him too.
A year later that’s all changed. I’m under no illusion that he still loves me but there’s no romance any more. We’re close and he’s still kind and considerate but something is different. Our sex life is also zero although he’s had an injury which is partly (or completely?) to blame for that. It genuinely feels like the old cliche - he loves me but isn’t in love with me.
It’s come out as we’ve got closer that he’s had mental health problems in the past and I feel this is probably the problem - I’m trying very hard not to see it as being about me. But at what point do I say enough is enough? I’m struggling a bit myself, on mild anti-depressants due to the stress or the divorce and some past issues and just life as a single parent, I’m starting to get myself sorted but I’m not sure I’m strong enough to be a shoulder for him too. But there’s so much good in the relationship, if only it could be like it was at the beginning.
I still love him and am in love with him too - he’s the most attractive person I’ve ever been with and I just want to be close to him all the time but he clearly doesn’t feel the same way. Should I hold out and see if things get better or accept they never will and leave?