He's left me

[hearbroken13]

Been with dp for 4 years, we have two ds 6 and 2. Thing not been good for a couple of years he's emotionally abusive calls me a cunt a rat when we argue.

Thing is I moved to his home town 3 years ago. Two hours away from my family and friends and in that 3 years none of his family have done anything with me. I have no one here. Last weekend I woke him up at 1.30 in the afternoon to come and help me with something and he called me all kinds of names and he's been giving me the silent treatment for a week. Today he's left to go to his brothers house.

I know I'm better off without him but it's so hard having to start all over again trying to get a house near my family for me and the kids. Just need a hand hold.

Oh and he smokes weed and likes going out with the lads whenever he feels like it.

Oh you're better without him the arsehole waster! He's a dick! Have your told your own family what's happened yet OP?

The first thing to do is to do that so you have real life support. Then begin plans to move home....don't tell him ANYTHING. Just do it.

If you tell him he may try to stop you. You don't need to be trapped in that area with no support. He can bloody make an effort to see his kids if he wants to.

Is there anyone back home you and the kids could stay with?

Thank you for replying. Yep I have told my family but they have no room for us so we can go there. Went to my mums on the weekend and he didn't even text to ask how the kids where.

Came back yesterday he didn't talk to me or the kids really. He's been sleeping on the sofa all week and today he's left with his work bag and a few clothes.

Told my 6 year old and he was heartbroken I really don't know what to do anymore I have no one here and he knows that and he's pissed off to his brothers house.

Is your six year old from another relationship?

Yea he's from another relationship his father used to hit me and he has no contact with him.

If he’s left to go to his brothers then that gives you a bit of space/time to find alternative accommodation and start making plans. What’s your living situation atm? Renting or mortgage? Whose name is on the rental agreement or mortgage?

Sounds like you’ve decided to leave him so it’s a matter of practicality now and getting sorted so you and the kids have somewhere else to move to. What’s your work situation/income like?

I know it’s a bit bolting the stable door after the horse has ran off, but it sounds like you moved very quickly in this relationship from getting together to having a child within two years even though you already had a young child to think about, I’m sure you have already realised this but in future relationships it’s better to take some time to date slowly and keep your children uninvolved in a new relationship before making huge decisions like moving in together and having another child, if you’ve been together four years with a six year old and a two year old you must have met him when your eldest was two, moved in and gotten pregnant within 12-18 months which is very fast, sadly you just can’t get to know someone well enough in such a short space of time to know whether they’re someone you want to have a child with and raise your young child with. Act in haste repent at leisure and all that. When you’ve ended this and are single again I’d really make sure that if you date again you avoid the same pattern of choosing an unsuitable man, focus on your children’s needs first and foremost.