Help needed

[lloydharstron1]

Had an argument with my wife this morning. Essentially, I suggested that her passive aggressive silent treatment of the past week was damaging our dd who is 7.
This is all because I won’t pay for her to travel to Asia and visit her family this Xmas after she has just been this summer for a month. I suggested that she could go buy our daughter would stay here.
Anyway, when I suggested that she was damaging our child she went crazy and came towards me. I held my position and our heads were then touching and we were staring at each other. She then punched me in the face. Not that hard but it was still shocking. I immediately said I would report her to the police or social services. She then said “Go on, report me” She then said to our daughter “Mummy is going to get taken away and a stranger will be looking after you”
Our daughter burst into tears and I said I wouldn’t report her. She then said “Then don’t say things you won’t be doing!”

She then took our daughter to school. I walked out and wandered around today (my day offf) I am staying in a hotel tonight with no idea what to do now...

I'm so sorry for your situation. I don't have personal experience with domestic abuse, but reading what you have put and in my personal opinion she is very abusive. Silent treatment is controlling and abusive behaviour. Punching you, no matter how hard, is abusive behaviour. Doing all these things so your child bears witness to it is abhorrent and awful parenting.

Your daughter wouldn't be taken away from you because you are a victim of domestic abuse. However, if you fail to act and fail to protect your child from domestic abuse, the scales weigh more heavily towards active intervention.

You have not done anything wrong. She is abusive. Stand up to this behaviour for the sake of your child and you. Please. This is not a life that will bring you or your daughter happiness. Report her.

She sounds like a nightmare! And she sounds like she is trying to antagonise you into something
Don't bite keep your cool and get rid

Thanks for the advice. I spoke to mens line and feel much better. They told me I missed an opportunity by not reporting her this morning. They said I should stay away for the night and if/when she calls tell her exactly why. It felt good though talking to an external party.

What do you mean by "I'm not paying"? Do you pay for things or is it a common pot of money? It's not clear.

So sorry that she's actually treated you like this. I do agree that it would have been worthy to report it but hopefully this incident will not repeat itself 

I think you really need to put everything into perspective and realise how much worse this can get for you and your daughter as she will get caught up in it.

You need to get rid and away from that woman, silent treatment on its own is abuse and having physically hurt you has absolutely no chance of ever being accepted. I hope you can put everything in order and should probably get some outside advice.

Are you married? Do you share a mortgage?

Also very important detail. You should not allow her to take your daughter out of the country under any circumstance. God knows if she would ever bring her back

Your wife will be able to take the child out of the country if she wishes.

Wow - how old is she and how old are you?
Does she work outside of the home or is she a SAHM?
Definitely stay out of her way tonight.
This is physical abuse.
And it's not acceptable.
She needs to understand that this behaviour has consequences.
You can still report it.
Call 101 and ask fro the DV team and get it on record.
Does she abuse you in other ways?
Silent treatment?
Gaslighting abuse?
Throwing things?
Verbal abuse?
She does not sound nice.
SS now consider it abuse of the child if you remain with them in an abusive household.
So you need to protect your DD from this.
She cannot remain in an environment like this.
It's unfair to her.
She will grow up to be an abuser like your DW or a victim like you.
Neither is a good outcome!

*Onacleardayyoucansee
*
How would she be able to take the child out of the country without the father's consent? Specially now that they are still married so they both share the same paternal rights/custody

Either of the parents have free movement with the child , can apply for passport etc.

*Onacleardayyoucansee
*
I guess it's different in every country. I was never allowed abroad when only going with my mum without a letter from my dad, copy of his ID and an actual letter signed by a lawyer as a witness of my father having signed. I remember having to carry all these documents every time even if mum and I had the same surname