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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Emotionally unavailable mother and what is your relationship with your children?

16 replies

Peachytea · 09/09/2019 15:50

Bit of a long post, so will try to cut it short. I grew up mainly with my grandparents, as my mother and father worked long hours, in a very good career.

When they were at their home it was easier for me and my younger sibling to just stay with our grandma, as both my parents had to rest and wanted to relax. I remember all the times I was longing to see them, and finally go live with mum and dad like all my school friends.

We were not a family in a troubled situation, and I think most people envied the fact that my parents had a stable, satisfactory work. When I was around 12 my grandma started being ill and confronted my mother on the fact that she had never really parented, reminding her that she had two daughters, who were growing up practically without her.

My parents decided to reduce their hours and we moved in together. That was a massive mistake. My mother was hypercritical, anything I did annoyed her, and I remember dreading spending time together. It could be anything I said or did (like yawning or blinking), and she would mock me, say nasty things (especially regarding my appearance). I cried everyday and she would despair at how weak I was and tell me I wasn't going to do anything in life.

She was never critical of my sister, and allowed her to do whatever pleased her, and to behave as she wished. If I pointed out it was unfair she would just laugh and say: "That's what happens when you are the older one".

Anyway, fast forward, now I'm married with a child, and expecting my second (a girl). I just send my parents pictures and make polite talk but nothing more. I know if I try to open myself up she will hurt me badly (happened recently) and am really wary.

I suppose the question is: if you had a parent a bit like mine, how did it help shape your relationship with your children?

OP posts:
Peachytea · 09/09/2019 15:50

Sorry, that was longer than I expected!

OP posts:
pikapikachu · 09/09/2019 16:30

I've been NC with my mum for 20 years so while it affects me, it's had no effect on my kids. They don't know what it's like to grow up with a fucked up golden child/scapegoat dynamic.

Peachytea · 09/09/2019 17:27

I'm more worried I won't be able to be the mum I have always wanted to be. I don't think my own mum is horrible, we are just very different and she has her own ways of seeing things; but sometimes I wish I had a close relationship with her, like I see other people do. I'm an adult but still crave that bond.

OP posts:
Babdoc · 09/09/2019 17:39

I went no contact with my awful mother when I was pregnant with DD1. She never met either of her GC and died when DD1 was 4. She was unmourned, and I didn’t go to the funeral.
I used her as a role model of how not to be a mother. I made damn sure my two DDs knew they were loved and valued. I didn’t undermine them and criticise them and make them feel nothing they did was every good enough. I gave them encouragement to explore their own strengths and interests.
It seems to have worked, in that they are much more secure, confident and well adjusted than I ever was.

Fidgety31 · 09/09/2019 17:46

I have no contact with my mother and it has made me very self aware of how not to raise kids .
I still make mistakes though , nobody is perfect .

Belfield · 09/09/2019 17:49

Nobody is perfect. My mother was totally disinterested but I am not like that as a mother at all. I went to counselling as was worried I would copy her parenting but counsellor said that if you are aware of something you won't do it yourself. just because your mother parents that way doesn't automatically mean you will. My DS and I are close and he is a confident, happy child.

Bigpaintinglittlepainting · 09/09/2019 17:54

I have a narcissistic mother who was hypercritical.

I think my family would say it was critical but it is balanced with other parts of my personality, I am fun and cuddly and strong.

I think it’s hard not to let it affect you I know it has me but I am aware and I also praise my dc and let them be kids

Bigpaintinglittlepainting · 09/09/2019 17:56

I am critical! That should be.

Daylily34 · 09/09/2019 18:01

my Mother was disinterested depressed and sometimes violent . I am a much better mother than my mother was to me. We all make mistakes , we are all human beings - , sometimes it’s hard to know you’re doing the right thing when you had so little good experiences of being parented - but I love my kids dearly and they know it.

The older my kids get the more i see the contrast and realise how dismal my own childhood was - I choose and am able to push those thoughts aside .

CIareIsland · 09/09/2019 18:02

How were your GPS? Did they give you positive, unconditional love?

Robin2323 · 09/09/2019 18:51

You're mother was Horrible make no bones about it.
And it wasn't your fault.

In my case I did the absolute opposite of my patents.

My son is very close to me.

But my daughter is estranged.

Don't get me wrong she had a great child hood and I absolutely adore her but I failed somewhere (she's almost 30 not seen her for 3,years)

So I'd advise a bit of CBT
Best thing I've ever done.
Just to clear away some false negatives you may still be carrying.

Peachytea · 09/09/2019 19:35

Thank you for the replies. Sometimes I feel like if I don't make an effort with her then I deserve horrible things happening to me, like I'm a bad daughter. We live in different countries, so through careful control I have managed to reduce the times we see each other and the arguments.

I have a lovely family but am really scared I don't deserve them (DH and DC), and something will happen to them.

I'd just like to call her and get some support sometimes without negativity and constant criticism.

OP posts:
Peachytea · 09/09/2019 19:38

My grandparents were great in providing a stable environment, very parent-like with lots of love and some structure. But they were also looking after my grandma's parents who were old and unwell and I think that was really stressful for them.

OP posts:
Fleetheart · 09/09/2019 19:40

My mother is overcritical and judgmental as well as having a lot of good points! I know I am a bit like that too, so I actively try not to be. I don’t know how successful I actually am Smile

CIareIsland · 09/09/2019 19:50

I think that you are better placed that you realise. It sounds like your GPs gave you love and support and showed you have a peaceful home should be and how to look after wider family.

That doesn’t make up for the emotional neglect of BOTH of your parents and the emotional abuse of your mother - but it gives you a foundation and a comparison.

Sounds like all that is really holding you back is your own confidence.

It is also important to develop emotional protective strategies with your DM. She will never give you what you deserve and she will always hurt you. Sounds like NPD - have a look at Out of the Fog.

CIareIsland · 09/09/2019 20:05

Some psychotherapy would be good to build up your confidence and heal the wounds she has inflicted - so that you can be the best parent you can be to both your DCs.

I don’t believe that being the direct opposite of a NPD parent is 100% healthy either. Being hyper alert can be intense for children.

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