Is It Completely Over?

[Ellierose17]

So... my partner of 2 years, well 2 years officially but on and off for about 2 years prior, has left me.
We have 2 children, a 2 year old and an almost 1 year old and got engaged just before christmas. Everything has been going great. We've not long taken the kids away for a week.

So anyway.... just over a week ago he suddenly announces that he needs time and space to sort his head out as its a mess. And that he doesnt love me anymore.
Right up until this point he was telling me how in love with me he was and how he wanted us to have another baby in the near future. We arent living together but were looking at a place thats ready in a couple of weeks.
I know he suffers alot with depression and anxiety but most of that is due to him not being great with money and letting people get into his head over silly little things because he worries too mich about what others might say or think. Hes always thoughy he can deal with it better on his own so tends to push people away. This time hes doing it it me too.
He wants space but also regular updates on the kids which makes it very hard for me to try the no contact rule. If i try bring up anything about the relationship or break up he disappears or says hes not prepared to talk about it right now. He says he wants to see the kids but that he doesnt think seeing me right now will help him, even though hes said that he still wants to see and speak to me and that he'll always care for me as im the mother of his children and that he doesnt want to lose me.
He says things like we dont know what the future will bring and that things will work out.
He hasnt deleted or blocked me from any of his social media and still has photos up of me with quotes like "my world 😍".
When he first said we were over he said that he didnt know what to do as he thought he needed a break and to not be in a relationship right now whilst his heads the way it is but he didnt want to end things. He said any descision he made would probably be the wrong one.
So now im left with no clue whats going on and no idea where to go from here.
Is this a break?...
Is it the end?....
Im just so confused

That sounds awful for you and disruptive. He seems to want you to do the pick me dance and however that's arisen I would set some boundaries over when and how you are willing to provide him with updates. Block or unfollow him on social media and don't feed his drama. Also try and think hard about what you want so the relationship moves forward (if at all) on equal terms. I hope you find a way forward and the strength to deal with this

What an absolute insufferable bastard. He wants you, he doesn't want you, he abandons you but then says he doesn't want to lose you. FUCK HIM. How DARE he mess you about so cruelly. I would be telling him to take a long walk off a short pier and that you'll be seeing him in court to make arrangements for child maintenance and visitation.

Tell him to fuck right off.
If he's met someone he can't drag you along until he knows if it's going to work out or not.

To hell with the updates. Get child maintenance and visitation set up.
Block him.

I have to wonder what the previous on off stuff was about.

The previous on off was due to neither of us being ready to fully commit at the beginning and then and unplanned pregnancy with our eldest which put a strain on things as he didnt want her to begin with and i suffered really badly with hyperemisis and then pre eclampsia so was in and out of hospital quite alot

Yes, it's over, sorry, Ellierose.

It suits him not to delete/block you. Don't be comforted by emojis and hearts, that is for the outside world to view, it's not really for your eyes.

You have two children together. People do not do what your partner has done without a clear notion in their head that it's over. He's going in a new direction, that much is very clear.

Stop listening to what he says/posts - and look at what he actually DID. He left you and your two children. He is a twat.

You're not married, don't live together. He is a father. He needs to pay for his children. Get some legal advice and make him do that. Find a friend that you trust to sob to and be prepared for announcements of somebody else very soon. He is not your partner any longer.

I'm really sorry to say all that but your posts are desperately seeking reassurance when there is none to give. Get legal advice about your situation before you do/say anything else to him.

Why don’t you live together?

Becaause i had to give up my place and move back in with my parents temporarily and hes flat sharing at the moment. We had a place lined up for us all together which me and the kids will still be moving into

You are an option OP

He wants to keep that option open whilst playing the field.

Is he receiving treatment for his depression?

How well do you know his parents, and do you get on well with them?

He is recieving treatment yes. And i know and get on with them very well

Is the treatment new, or have there been any big changes lately beyond moving in together imminently?

Because if he has been treated for a while and the only change is the plan to move in together....he doesn't want to do this.

The treatments just started in the last few weeks

If he's telling you he needs time and space and doesn't love you anymore I can bet there is someone else.

My first thought was someone else too and ive asked him a couple of times. He swears there isnt but im not sure i believe that