Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Did you get over him?

8 replies

unknownn · 09/09/2019 11:58

Has anyone managed to leave their partner as the relationship was very very unhealthy, and have had their life truly flipped around? And you truly were able to get over them, like all the advice you were given when you were in the middle of it said you would? Would love to hear positive experiences. Its been three months since i had to leave my ex and i still struggle to see myself ever getting over him, or how life will be better without him.

OP posts:
MarbleCake · 09/09/2019 12:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShippingNews · 09/09/2019 12:30

Yes, you'll get over it. I was married for 24 years to a man who, as I found out , had the morals of an alley cat. I left him and started a new life - yes I struggled at first, we'd been together for so long .Because of his work, our family had always been " us four" since we'd moved around a lot and had become very close to each other .

After I'd been gone for about a year , life just became happier . My kids accepted things and they made it clear that I'd done the right thing. Work improved, I made new friends, found my own place.

These days I see him about once a year - he means nothing to me . TBH if I saw him on the street I'd keep walking. He just means nothing to me now. It feels great .

Original poster
unknownn · 09/09/2019 13:29

@MarbleCake @ShippingNews Wow thank you for the experiences. That gives me a lot of hope. Smile

OP posts:
SonataDentata · 09/09/2019 15:41

Yes, I did, though it was a long and painful process. Someone once told me it can take up to half the relationship’s length again to get over someone fully (i.e. if your relationship lasted two years, it may take a year to get over them). It’s also not a straight line and you may have setbacks or times when you feel like you’ve gone backwards. A course of counselling may help. Good luck!

hellsbellsmelons · 09/09/2019 15:45

Marriage not unhealthy but infidelity and it's a deal-breaker for me.
Took me well over a year to get back to me again.

More recently, very unhealthy relationship with a Narc!
It's been 2.5 years and I'll honestly never be the same again.
I am more than happy being single and never having another man in my life again.

It really depends where you are in your life though.
I'm 50 so men can get to fuck to be honest!
But if you are younger and still want a family etc.... then you will need to work on yourself.
3 months is very early days.
Give yourself time and be kind to yourself.
Lean on friends and family to help you through this.

Original poster
unknownn · 09/09/2019 16:24

thanks for the advice @SonataDentata i may look into a course of somesort, he really deeply messed with my head

OP posts:
Original poster
unknownn · 09/09/2019 16:25

@hellsbellsmelons Haha i reckon i'll be there along with you at this rate!
I do want a family, i'll focus on bettering me before anything. Thanks.

OP posts:
mylifenow27 · 09/09/2019 16:30

Sometimes there is no other healer than time OP just try hang in there it does get better xx

New posts on this thread. Refresh page