Would you message?

[takeahint]

Someone I work with has been off work for a few months, maybe since the beginning of June. I think with stress, possibly even depression. We have always been friendly in work. Although we don't work in the same department, our paths cross fairly often, and have been friends on FB a couple of years. We have over that time had the occasional lengthy chat over FB messenger, quite personal stuff at times, plain ridiculous carry on at others. Totally platonic.

After he had been off for a few weeks, I sent a message just to say hello and that I hoped he was doing okay, bit of chat back and forward. He messaged me again later to say thanks for getting in touch, no one else from work had, and that it meant a lot.

I went to message again today and he's deleted me. We still have mutual friends, but I see he's deleted at least one other person that I know was a mutual friend.

Do I take the hint? Should I have got in touch before now? I've been asking about him in work over the last month and it kept sounding like he was heading back, so I was just waiting to see him. Now I'm not sure if and when he'll be back.

Do I message anyway? Even though he'll probably know I know he's deleted me? Do I just ask him straight if offended him in some way?

Thanks.

I'd leave him. You messaged, you were thoughtful, and kind

I think he was upset you hadn’t messaged before. And wd so so appreciate it if you did now.

Terrible advice the things we do - unless you are bing sacrastic?

Amam # unlikely to be games form someone off with stress. I think a lot of people commenting don’t understand stress.

I'd say he wants privacy and it's not personal.

I would message him. You say he's replied to previous messages, before he deleted you so I would send one and if he doesn't reply, you know he deleted you for a reason.

I wouldn’t message. He may be off work due to mh issues and gets stressed or finds it suffocating.

He thanked you for the previous message so leave it now and if he wants to message he will.

It can be hard for people with no mh issues to understand how even the most basic social interactions can be stressful for someone who does have mh issues.

Does he have a partner? Is it possible that she’s read the messages and not approved of him having that contact with you so he’s deleted you for that reason?

I'd message but not exoect or chase a reply.

I deleted someone (an acquaintance who I knew was very fond of me ) from Facebook because I felt he was intrusive into my life and I felt weird about him. He hardly messaged, but when he did I found him too intense and emotionally draining. I hoped he wouldn’t notice the deletion, but I felt better that he was now more distant in my life.

He messaged and I felt terrible. I ended up adding him back as a friend. I see his pic now and I really don’t want to.

As cruel or confusing as it seems, this man has his reasons for deleting you and more than likely does not want you to contact him.

@Switchitoffthenonagain no, no partner.

Thanks everyone.

Maybe he feels talking to people from work will trigger off some guilt/ add more stress for not being in work.

Dolly- why was it such bad advice? He had said before that he really appreciated her getting in touch when no one else had. She then didn’t for a long time. I have been in this position. He could have felt that she didn’t care either so deleted her. But a message from her wd show she does care.

He may well have appreciated op getting in touch the first time .

I think the deleting is a clear sign to be left alone now.

He may be happy to message, as he said earlier to you but not want anyone from work to see his personal page as it contains personal health info or bad comments about work. I would go ahead and message but irregularly.

Maybe your computer has a virus that you aren't aware of? I'd delete someone if I thought my computer could be compromised.