Is there a nice way to say this.

[inmyshoos]

I've recently been spending more time with a good friend i know from a hobby i do. He has been tremendously supportive of me during a shitty relationship break up and i am very fond of him.

He is lovely, good looking, kind and intelligent ... however he doesnt look after himself or keep on top of his housework. House could be written off as man pad but its still yuk and not good. But his clothes are stinky. Proper stinky. He just doesnt care but it is bad enough that everyone mentions it... just not to him.

Maybe he just doesn't care and that's obviously his business, maybe i should just mind my own business....

But he is can be quite flirty and i often find myself thinking... jeez if you just looked after yourself a bit you'd be really quite lovely.

Should i just mind my own business....

Stinky of what? Body odour, stale laundry, smoke?

Depends on the way you and he are.

I have had good friends where I could say ‘OMG, xxx, your place could star in that coffee ad where the neighbour thinks he’s been burgled!” Or something.

But you need quite s robust bantery friendship to approach it like that.

If he ever talks to you seriously about wanting friends / relationship you could say “from my point of view as a fresh eye I would find your whole approach to grooming and housekeeping a bit ‘single guy’. Do you want some tips?”

Are you saying YOU might fancy him if he cleaned up his act a bit?

I'd say something. Tell him you think he's a lovely man, good looking - a real catch for someone. And as his good friend, you want him to know that he needs to scrub up more - both himself and his man-cave because women are much more attracted to men who smell clean and fresh and look after themselves and their homes. Say you'll help him reboot the house and the laundry because he's supported you, but he'll have to scrub his own back in the bath, for now.

Be brazen about it. That's the approach I take with DS2 who is a bit soap-averse. It's inarguable. I just say: jump in the bath and wash your hair before you go out tonight. If he says no, I say: Your hair honks. When he looks upset, I say: it's not personal. All hair honks from city fumes and food smells if it's not washed every other day. Wash it. Problem solved. You need to behave like you respect yourself and your body.

Ive said to him before i want to hoover his house!! Ive not tackled the personal grooming bit....

I think he is probably a bit sensitive as a person so defo dont want to upset him but its his loss. He would defo do better to wash hair more ...

Not sweaty at all.. more stale unwashed clothes. Hair a bit stinky...

Maybe he's depressed? People can hide it well.

I think you can tell him straight. And in a kind way.

You could tell him he helped you so much and you’d like to do something for him.
He might not exactly know what needs to be done or how often.