I miss my friend

[3BM3BM]

I fell for a male friend. I obviously never told him because he has a girlfriend and a kid. We were incredibly close and he used to hint about wanting things to be different. It was really messing with my head so I stopped calling or texting him first about 6 weeks ago and haven’t heard from him since. Before that we were in regular contact.

I miss him. He was a dear friend.

Should I get back in touch with him or try to forget about him? I have been trying to forget him but I really care about him and miss him so much. I’m wondering if a lifetime of being just good friends is better than nothing?

I’m also really sad that he hasn’t been in touch. I think he’s trying to be a good boyfriend and Dad and that’s easier with me off the scene. He doesn’t have to be strong any more.

He's got a partner and a child - LEAVE ALONE!

I know that. That’s why I have never told him how I feel about him. My post is about missing his friendship.

I’ve been there and it was horrible. I didn’t move on until I cut him out but eventually met someone new which never would have happened if I was still pining for friend.

Interestingly I’m friends again with him but it’s different now - new boundaries, no feelings. That never could have happened without a significant period of not seeing him

How long did it take YellowArdvsrk?

Did he know how you felt?

But you don’t just miss his friendship though, OP.

You fell for him. So whilst I’m sure you miss aspects of your friendship, you lost that the moment you fell for this guy because you’ll never be able to be friends again

The best thing you could do for you, him and his family is to just leave him alone.
He obviously realised he was crossing the line which is why he’s not contacted you as he’s putting his family first.

Your friendship will never be the same.

The only thing you need to do which is the best option is to leave him and his family alone. There is no need for you to get back in touch, lines have been blurred and being in contact will not make it any easier on you.

It's time to accept that the friendship has ended and that you will now work on yourself and getting over him. Focus your energy and time on doing things to make your life better and make you happy.

Is he really a friend? How long did you know him before he was with his GF? I’d say the best thing is to have some distance and get back in touch when you’re not in love with him anymore

I had a friend at uni who always hinted he wanted things to be different. It never was. I spent years pining after him. Then years later when we met again and he was happily married he mentioned how we had a 'special connection' blah do blah....and I realised.....he just liked the adoration he got. If he dropped a few crumbs he had girls (I wasn't the only one) fawning all over him. Of course being older and wiser I refused to engage. I think your friend was like him - hinting at you he wanted things to be different kept you close. And your adoration makes him feel good. You need the clean break to move on.

It was about 6 months of low contact then we built back up slowly after that. We’re not super close anymore, but still friends. I need know how I felt.

I actually moved on totally - it was him that chased the friendship and still is much more proactive with it than I am. It makes me wonder if part of him was leading me on the first time around

If he was really interested he would have contacted you. His “hints” may have been misread and if they really were hints, he’s a twat because he’s in a relationship.

Would you really want to be with someone who cheats?