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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Did you meet someone after years of feeling like you wouldn’t?

27 replies

Setuponwednesday · 06/09/2019 20:56

I’ve been single after what feels like forever. I’m mid thirties and my last relationship ended age 30. I’ve dated since then but nothing serious.

I know you have to get out there. I’m just wanting to hear from people who ended up meeting someone after really feeling like they wouldn’t.

Thanks

OP posts:

QuentinWinters · 06/09/2019 20:58

I haven't but a good friend used to regularly bemoan her long-teen single status and say she would be single forever at your age. She got asked out in a bar randomly and is now married with a baby 4 years later. So it can def happen.

Mumteedum · 06/09/2019 20:59

Totally! All loved up right now after a good 5 years single and a terrible marriage. I never thought I'd be with anyone again let alone fall in love. Never say never!

SimonJT · 06/09/2019 21:01

Definitely, I was single until I was 27!

Original poster

Setuponwednesday · 06/09/2019 21:01

It has been so long now that I actually can’t imagine having feelings for someone, even though I really want a relationship.

I have started to wonder if I can even remember what it feels like to have someone share your life with you.

OP posts:

Original poster

Setuponwednesday · 06/09/2019 21:01

27 is young though...34 is not!

OP posts:

Savingforarainyday · 06/09/2019 21:06

34 is young.

Seriously!

Original poster

Setuponwednesday · 06/09/2019 21:07

It’s a long tim to not have yet met someone who is right for you

OP posts:

Luxembourgmama · 06/09/2019 21:10

Yes I was 32 and my ex had convinced me i was past it. Also I'd let lots of horrible blokes who had issue with me being divorced then I met my super hubby at work

Thunderclapnewgirl · 06/09/2019 21:11

Divorced (with a daughter) at 29. Gave up with any thoughts of finding anyone that I really wanted to be with as I was really fussy and decided I would rather be single and happy than unhappily married again.

Met husband no. 2 at aged 36. 16 years later and still very happy.

SonataDentata · 06/09/2019 21:12

I’m totally numb now and don’t understand how anyone ever gets into a relationship. Total anathema to me.

beechblob · 06/09/2019 21:17

Me! Single for 5 years after a long term relationship ended, was 34 when I met my now husband, married 10 years and 2 kids, first born just before I was 36. It was my grandad that introduced us!!!!

fantasmasgoria1 · 06/09/2019 21:26

After two abusive marriages I felt like I was destined to only be with someone who wanted to hurt me. I always dreamt about meeting a man who was nice, kind, caring, loving, considerate, respectful, supportive and understanding. And I have! We are engaged and have been together for three years and I'm 44 now. And to the poster who said 34 is old, even 54 or 64 isn't old these days.

passionfruit11 · 06/09/2019 21:36

I was a single mother for seven years before I met my husband at the age of 29. We are now 2 years married and have two children

SunshineAngel · 06/09/2019 21:39

I'm 29 now, and split up with an abusive partner when I was 24. Not only did I think I would never meet someone, I also strongly believed I wouldn't want to. I could never see myself settling down, or having sex with anyone, or even letting anyone get close enough to touch me.

I know it's a bit of a different situation.. but when I was 28 I met my now-partner who I've been with for almost 2 years and my life just changed. Everything clicked into place, and he was everything I needed him to be.

It can be so easy to think you'll never meet someone, or that you'll always be alone, but you never know what will happen until it happens. It's strange to think that I was just on a normal day out, after a few years of being single and not being interested in men, and then I met this guy who has become my favourite person in the whole world.

Utter madness.

I still have major issues due to the abuse, but we have sex, which is nothing short of a miracle tbh.

Ragwort · 06/09/2019 21:52

A friend of mine has just met a really lovely guy through a mutual hobby and they seem incredibly happy and comfortable together ... both well over 60 .

Justmuddlingalong · 06/09/2019 21:57

Separated at 30. Had a few reletionships, but no one I wanted a long term future with. Met DP at 36, still happy, content and in love with him 13 years later.

LunaTheCat · 06/09/2019 21:59

I had given up at 36 - I was miserable until about 35 . Had never had a boyfriend! At 35 I decided to stop being miserable and enjoy my life. I was introduced to my now husband my elderly friend. We met outside a cafe and when I saw him standing there I thought “where have you been all my life”. He asked me to marry him 2 weeks later and 6 months later married - now almost 18 years and he can drive me mad at times but I love every inch of him.
I think concentrate on your life - it is very precious. Take up something you are interested in. Let people know you are looking. We met pre internet dating but it seems the way people meet now. I don’t know what to recommend site ways but maybe consider it.
Your time will come.💐💐

danceswithdeath · 06/09/2019 22:01

I'm thirty, nearly thirty-one. I met my first boyfriend 4 years ago!! X

mommybear1 · 06/09/2019 22:19

Yep!!! All my friends were married with babies- I took the decision to say yes to every invite the following year and weirdly met my now DH at an interview 3 years married, 22 month old DS I'm 41

PerfectionistProcrastinator · 07/09/2019 14:37

I was single from age 24 to 31. Nothing ever came of the very few men that I was “seeing” during those years.

Met DP online in 2015. Had to move 2 hours away to be with him. We’ve been together 4 years, engaged and trying for a baby.

My mum likes to remind me how for years I said “I will never meet a decent man”!

Deadringer · 07/09/2019 15:07

My best friend was broken when her dh left her in her 40s for a younger woman. She eventually got back on the dating scene but found it very difficult, she never thought she would meet anyone decent. She meet a lovely guy though and got married recently (in her 50s) and is blissfully happy.

crappyday2018 · 07/09/2019 19:25

My best friend didn't have a proper boyfriend until she was 42! She thought she would never meet anyone. They've been together a year now.

Tinyandpetite · 07/09/2019 19:48

I’m 35 and feel exactly the same. I seem to attract all the idiots and users. Gives me some hope I’ll eventually find someone

Mothersruin123 · 07/09/2019 19:49

Single at 29 after a long relationship and was devastated. In the meantime all my friends were getting married and having kids. Met a guy at 35 but split up after 18 months as he had kids already and didn't want any more. Got a dog as my baby substitute and stopped caring quite so much about meeting a man. Met my husband at 38, moved in at 39, had DD at 40, married at 43. Still very happy. I think when I met my husband I'd accepted that I might not meet anyone and started to try and create an acceptable alternative life for myself.

Doyoumind · 07/09/2019 19:53

I was single for quite a while having been in long term relationships then ended up in an abusive relationship. I've now been single again for a long time. The grass isn't always greener in a relationship.

I do believe that often these things happen when you aren't looking for it though.

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