When does this get better?

[annieatno4]

Hi all , have been lurking around here for a while now, and thought it was about time i told my (too familiar!)story.
In April i found emails and ecards from my hubby of 14 years to another woman. He later moved out that day (his choice). He was insistant that he wasnt having an affair - he had met her through the pc and had had lunch with her once (she lives 3 hrs away). I later found out that he was having a very intense email/text relationship with her. The long shot is that he is now home and really doing all he can to put it right. Although we had a few weeks when he said he wasnt in contact with her, but he was. I think the last time he spoke to her was middle of may. Iam still finding it so hard to get over this.
I have read many of your stories, and i know that many of you have overcome affairs and betrayal, and you are an inspiration. i would appreciate any help or tips

well ladies - did email her! all very polite , wouldnt lower myself to be anything other than that!
The stories do check out with each other, and they had only been friends for four weeks not six.
Feel better for it - leaving it at that!
Annie

I love happy endings!

Annie

Have only just caught up on your thread and i too have been in a similar situation. I was going to say that do whatever it takes to get this out of your system but be prepared for whatever you think will ease it not to be the answer.

I did contact ow which i did feel helped a bit but still did not give me closure totally and i really dont think there is anything that will ever truely get my feeling throuhg to her enough for me to say ok i feel better now.

I know that i am the best i can be - that i would never never delibretly go out of my way to hurt anyone else. There is no excuse a married man is out of bounds as far as i am concerned whatever he may tell you about his wife and family life.

I live with the fact that i know i am so much better than her in so many ways and now my h (who chose me) can see that withouth his 'fantasy glasses' on. He now says he cannot even think why he would want any woman who so calouslly tried to destroy me. (and before you all jump in and say he did it too - they are the demons he has to live with and is getting help with - which is why i can live with it now)

I hope it works out for you - this marriage lark is sometimes so difficult and we need all the support we can.

Hurtwife - i have been following your story and i think you have dealt with this all fantastically.
I do feel better for contacting her - iam sure there will be other questions, as others have said/ But i just felt it was something i needed to get out of my system.
I dont this this woman realises the part she played, as they were "friends" and nothing else!!
Still, thats her problem and not mine TBH
I just have to work on this "new relationship" with DH now.

Thanks
annie

Thats the spirit the new relationship, but i am still waiting for my new ring!!!!

We are off on holiday next week so maybe then - i just hate wearing the old one as it really means so little now of the new me.

It is not easy but it sounds as if he is really committed to you i just dont think men really understand the full consequenses when they do this sort of thing often until it is too late.

Have a great day

LOL hurtwife - i too had asked for a new ring, sort of tonuge in cheek!!
Well have bought men are from mars women are from venus - anyone read this?

Feel much more at peace today - thank you all
Annie

Thats good - feeling at peace with yourself. It is often hard for us (women)to sometimes do things for us and remeber who we are.

Enjoy the book it is fun if nothing else - i still cant seem to fathom them out though!

Annie, the John Gray book won't help you because it is ignorant sexist bullshit that fosters a divide between men and women allowing each sex to blame the other for everything and get away with behaving like crap. THe issues within your relationship (and anyone's relationship) are not to do with Male and Female, they are to do with trust, dependency, self esteem, etc, all things that can happen just as much in lesbian and gay relationships as in heterosexual ones - and it sounds like you're doing a good job of getting them sorted. I wish you well. (sorry for hijack but i loathe those moronic books and the damage they do)

Well i will have a read and keep an open mind about it all!!!!