Is this right?

[auto1975]

Got back together with ex recently - we've been on and off for 4 years. As he has anger issues and debt.
When we split, over these issues, he bought an expensive car £450 a month on finance (he has over £35k in debt) stress over money and his moods split us up.
Am I right thinking we have no future?
I'm on low income struggling to pay rent and although he helps we can't afford to live together as he has bad credit and can't get a tenancy. Not that we are looking at moving in but certainly for the future.
He has to borrow my car when he goes to work as he works an hour away and my car is better on fuel as his is ridiculous on fuel
He won't get a Paye job as he wants to be self employed so does agency work and his own business on the side so he says he needs to be flexible (which has had the debt)
Just feel we are in different gear spaces

Sorry he's irresponsible.

If he's under 30 there is a chance he may grow up.

But until he does all you will get is misery.

And stop lending him your car.
Until he faces the consequences of his actions ( buy petrol guzzling car he can't afford to run ) nothing will change.

How on earth did he get finance when he has 35,000 in debt ?

If you go near him then his debts, stresses and anxiety will be half yours.

There are plenty more fish in the sea. You deserve a nice life.

Am I right thinking we have no future?

auto1975 the question is, do you want to be tied to someone whom is a huge risk to your future financial security?

If you walk away now what do you loose apart from a sore bruised heart?

He's 43 and loving at home with his mum 😬

He went back there after his divorce 6 years ago and hasn't been able to leave

He owes £10k to his mum ( failed business - he has had about 4)
£25k to a debt management company, he also owes £7k to his step dad (vat bill) so sorry a lot more than I said. 😬😬😬

Exactly I'm begrudged to let him use my car and put the mileage on that!

I feel he is lost in life and completely unstable with his finances

This relationship is going no where

I hate his business because it's put us in financial difficulty

I've had enough and spent far too much time and my energy on his man

He's selfish and doesn't see I've supported him

Take your car and your self-esteem and leave.

I felt mean but posting here and going over it I'm sure his financial situation isn't normal?!

He says because we weren't together it had nothing to do with me.
The car purchase and his work choices are none of my business but I feel now we got back together it is my business!

43 !!!!!
The hills are that way

You can do better than him OP! Move on

Thanks everyone x

How the hell did he manage to get a car loan with 35 grand debt!!!

Coz half of it it's with family debt so not on his file but I'm pretty sure he said he put it though his business. He has a business partner too and they've made a bit of money with some contracts ( its a commercial cleaning company ) so maybe put a deposit down in guessing
That's what he's like, gambles by making bad money choices
But all when we weren't together so feel I can't say anything

Run! My ex also has a failing business, never ever has any money and is now finding it hard to get any kind of job because his CV is so bad. Consequently I end up paying for everything for DC even though it's supposed to be 50/50 and guess what - now I never have any money either!

Oh no, that's not good.
He has money one week then struggles the next
It's because he doesn't have a steady income
Always think the next contact is going to be the one that makes it 🙄
That's sad...Although I say I struggle I don't have debt, have good credit score and I can still treat myself because I work bloody hard and I budget! We just think differently about money

Being on and off for 4 years should have been enough to tell you this is an awful relationship. But it wasn’t, so his anger and debt issues definitely should be enough to tell you to get rid.

What more do you need to hear?

Nothing more

you can date him just don't ever live with him.

He's 43 and living at home with his mum
Fuck that OP.
He won't change or grow up.
As a PP has said........
RUN - THE HILLS ARE THAT WAY >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

43, living with his mum, 4 failed businesses and wants to be self-employed at all costs.

My eyes can't roll enough.

I know right?!

He doesn't see it....

Crikey. You really have to ask? This man is a loser. Have nothing to do with him and NEVER go back.

Trust me. I know what I'm talking about.

It's just reassuring because he constantly tells me the next contract will sort him out and he is holding out for this and then I feel like I'm nagging

I do know you are all right and I just needed to have confirmation as all my friends and family hate him so it is nice to get an outside perspective