Need some advice about how to deal with this pattern of argument.
Been together 5 years but living in seperate houses as both have children from previous relationships at quite different ages.
As we live apart it’s easy not to argue so much as we don’t have the minor irritations. However I found him quite annoying this summer and don’t know how to move on.
He is self employed and therefore has an uneven work schedule. He had three of the 5 and a half weeks school holiday off and I had the whole time. However as I work in a school there’s no choice.
We had a big argument at the weekend because I complained that we hadn’t gone anywhere or done anything this summer ( he was happy to get his paperwork done and potter round) whilst he has spent a lot of money on a weekend away for us to see some friends in October.
I feel like it won’t seem like a holiday then as it will only be a weekend and it’s in the middle of a pressured term. And I feel like we wasted this summer.
Admittedly I’d had some wine so I got more more vocal than necessary,I had a proper yell at him and he told me to leave. The next day, no contact at all (didn’t check to see if I got home safely) . I phoned in the evening to ask if I could buy him lunch to say sorry. He said how lovely and no mention of the argument. I drove to his to find he had completely changed his hairstyle (his last one had been one I told him I really liked, so he had surprised me with it six months ago). I didn’t mention it and nor did he. I’m guessing he did it to prove a point otherwise he would have said “ like my new cut” or something. Neither did he bring up the argument.
Over lunch he asked about me going back to work “tomorrow” and about an important situation at my work.. Both of which were incorrect and things I have discussed many many times over the holiday. He said I should just answer his questions because he forgets stuff. I said there was no point because I had told him many many times so he obviously doesn’t care enough to listen. I had been lamenting the start of term for the last week so no way he didn’t know when I was due back.
We finished lunch pretty quickly and that was it. Not heard from him since.No plans to meet up. No plans to do something before I go back to work. This will probably carry on until he wants to meet and as far as he’s concerned the argument is forgotten.
I’m still upset about the waste of six weeks and I’m not looking forward to a weekend away actually when I need to be focused on work.
Is it worth discussing again?
Do I just get on with my own life and not worry about it?
What do I do about the weekend? I don’t want to disappoint my friends.