So confused... looking for some reassurance or kind advice.
Been married for twenty years, have two teens. We’ve had a tough couple years including 3 bereavements, which my dh has taken very badly and is now on anti-d’s.
As usual with long marriages, I feel I’ve been at the bottom of the pile for a long time, dh lost his sex drive, whereas I’m very keen. No tlc, or affection - goes both ways, I’m as bad.
I feel exhausted. I’m frightened that I’ve come to the end and I want out. I always believed we’d be forever. I feel shaky from the inside out and have felt this way for probably 8 weeks.
I’ve had a few conversations with dh, and we’re going to relate tomorrow night. I’m feeling the pressure, as he says he wants to fight but I don’t know if I’m past that stage and it makes me feel awful.
An added complication is I keep thinking about a guy my dh works with, so different to my dh, nothing at all has happened. But I keep thinking if I’m thinking about someone else, it’s not fair on my dh.
I just feel fucking awful.
So much more... but I’m anxious to get down what’s in my head now.
Not sure what I want to hear... I’m so frightened.