How do you relax and enjoy a new relationship?

[FizzyPink]

So I’ve been single for about 4 years now, late twenties and really looking to settle down.
I’ve previously had a lot of disastrous online dates but feel like I’ve learnt a lot about what I’m looking for and seem to be much better at picking them now! However, in the last year I’ve had 2 brief relationships where it’s all started off wonderfully, the guys have totally love bombed me and then a few months down the line they’ve decided they’re not ready for a relationship.
Both times I was totally shocked and it really hurt.
I’ve now met a new guy and we’ve been dating for a few weeks but I just can’t seem to relax and enjoy it. I know it’s because of what’s happened before which is making me nervous but I constantly feel terrified that he’s going to do the same and end it when I’m feeling really happy and like it’s going well.
I know my paranoia and anxiety is going to turn him off and it’ll be the reason it ends so how do I stop this and just enjoy it for what it is at the moment.
Just as an example, if he doesn’t text me much during the day when I know he’s busy at work I’ll worry he’s gone off me or tomorrow he’s asked that we do something casual rather than the restaurant dinner we had planned as he now has to work late and I’m convinced it’s because he wants to end it!
Please give me your words of wisdom as I really like this guy and it all feels so natural and I really don’t want to feel like this!

Think we've all been there.

I'm cool with a quick fling, I'm cool with a relationship - its the inbetween stuff I have no interest in whatsoever. Unfortunately there has to be a little of that before it becomes ...or doesn't become, a relationship.

So basically you gotta be in the headspace that its just a bit of a fun, casual thing until it isn't. Personally I'm not cool with that so I just don't date atm anymore.

This is exactly how I feel!

We’ve both agreed we’re not dating anyone else and I genuinely have no worries about that, it’s just the constant “is he still interested” thoughts that are killing me! And I realise it’s my own insecurities and past experiences that are causing this, just no idea how to stop and enjoy it!

It is hard! I was like that with my boyfriend as I been stung so much while dating.

It took a long time before I realised he was not going to just walk away. For me it was about the six months mark.

I could write this. I ended an abusive relationship May 2018. This March I started seeing someone and it was very intense, I was completely love bombed and the moment I let myself trust it, she turned on me and became very nasty. (She was struggling with MH issues and I didn’t help things as it triggere stuff in me too, to be fair) The combination completely messed with my head and I got in quite a bad place.

I’ve now been seeing someone a few weeks, it all seems very healthy - no love bombing but lots of contact and yeah all going well. I wound myself up to the point of not even wanting to go on the date at the weekend and phoned a friend who told me I can’t keep seeing it as inevitable that someone would turn on me and leave/become nasty because one day that won’t happen. I’m finding it pretty difficult to be honest and have to keep reminding myself to just enjoy it for what it is.