How to explain relationship to my children

[TheWaspsAreEverywhere]

I have been separated for quite a while now, and for the last seven months I have been dating a really lovely man. We are both sure that this is a long-term relationship, and things are going really well. We both have children from our marriages, and have recently introduced the children to each other and us as friends. However, his daughter has worked out that we're actually having a relationship (and she told her brother so his children both know). They were both absolutely great about it, so no worries there.

So now I have to tell my children (because I'd rather that they found out from me rather than his children next time we see them), and I'm not 100% sure of the words to use. My partners children are now living 50% of the time with their mum and the man that she had an affair with (and therefore more used to a parent having another relationship), but as far as I know my ex isn't in another relationship.

My children are 11 and 13, so I just wondered if anyone had any advice on how to tell them that we are actually more than friends?

11 and 13 will totally understand.
Just explain to them as you would any one else.
Not need to worry about 'language' for a youngster on anything.
They have probably figured it out as well TBH!

I don't think you need to use precise language, just take it slowly and let them all get to know one another. Your DC will understand without you spelling it out.

I think you're both probably right and I'm overthinking it! I am just so worried that I'll get it wrong, and that they'll decide that they don't like him or something. They have met him (and his children) a few times, but only as 'friends'.

I suppose I just want to reassure them that he isn't going to replace their dad, and that nothing much will change. I feel I need to tell them before they hear it from his children next time we go out together though. I'd probably not have bothered telling them anything much at all, had his children not worked it out!

They will be probably be more mortified at the fact their mum has a sex life than anything else!

They are 11/13. They will have almost certainly have figured it out themselves

Something like: I have a bit of news- X and I have decided to start dating. This wont really make a lot of difference to you but I wanted to tell you anyway. If you want to ask me anything you can do anytime.

Then they say argh gross and you all pretend you never spoke about it!

Haha! You're probably right! I'll just casually drop it into the conversation I think!

So, I told them. One said "Yeah, we already knew that", and the other said "Yeah, we'd worked that out"! And then they got back to talking about what they'd done in PE today.

I'd worked myself up into such a tizzy about telling them! Doh!

OP that's a great update! I'm watching with interest for when my time comes too scared at the minute simply because know I'll overthink and try to rationalise it to the nth degree.

Am sure you're glad they responded positively.